Random Thoughts

Pretty sure Phelps lost that last race, but when in doubt America always trumps Serbia.

Until now, Randy Moss hasn't spoken to reporters since training camp started. Today he promised to answer three questions, and was true to his word. My comment follow in italics:

1. Randy, in the end what made you decide to come back to the Patriots?

"I just think that first and foremost we have some unfinished business. I like the camaraderie around here, especially in the locker room, on the field. We got a great group of guys in the locker room. I think that's all you can ask for, and coaching. Coach Belichick understands football and understands his players and really puts us together as one."

[My comment: These are comments by the same Randy Moss that Tony Mazzeroti says is no different than Manny Ramirez because Manny quit on the Red Sox and Moss "quit" on the Raiders. So Mazz sees no distinction between Moss trying to get away from the worst run, most dysfunctional team in sports to take a pay cut and play for the best coach and the best TEAM in the NFL and Manny angling for a contract in the middle of a championship run. Moss is brilliant, Manny is a buffoon and Masseroti is an ignoramous.]

2. As explosive as you and Tom and the whole offense were last year how excited are you to get back on the field and now you have training camp under your belt that you didn't have last year?

"I'm actually kind of nervous and the reason why is that I think [about] what we did last year as a whole unit... We have high expectations for this offense and this team as a unit, but what we did last year I don't think we can really, really live and dwell off that because that was last year. Like I said, it's a little bit of nervousness because I know how high the bar is here."

[My comment: Every defensive coordinator in the NFL should be put on 24 hour suicide watch starting now.]

3. Tom said you were ahead of last year going into the point at last year. He said from Day One you've been ahead because you have a year in the system. Did you feel that comfort level coming into Day One?

"The good thing that I can really say about our offense, and I'm speaking for myself, is that you had guys that came in late, [Jabar] Gaffney, myself, Chad Jackson was hurt last year, and Welker coming in last year, so for us to have a whole off-season, a training camp to really understand the offense and the concept is really scary. That's why I say I'm nervous man because there is really no telling what we're going to do. So, like I said, the bar is set high and we'll see what happens."

[My comment: I just fainted from all the blood rushing to my erection.]

As far as I'm concerned, Randy can say nothing for the rest of camp. I'm happy to just live off that last statement and dream about what this offense is going to be like with a year under their belt. Everyone should order a "Straight cash, Homey" t-shirt to celebrate.

Let me clarify this from the very beginning.   I have no evidence of this.  I have not talked to anybody with evidence of this.    As far as I know this is just a rumor.  But it is a rumor that has everybody buzzing in Boston right now.    And with Jason Varitek filing for divorce it has only fanned the flames of this thing.  Now I first heard about this roughly a month or two ago.   And I’ve probably gotten 1 email a week about it since then.  It’s always the same thing every time.  “I know an insider who told me Varitek is plugging Heidi Watney, so trust me it’s fact, blah, blah, blah.”  But whenever I ask for proof they have nothing.    So I have ignored this for two months because I wasn’t going to print something based on some anonymous tip from a guy whose only proof is that he supposedly knows somebody on the inside.   But having said that it seems like more and more unrelated people are now saying the same thing.    And I’m a firm believer that where there is smoke there is fire.  But I can’t stress enough that this is strictly gossip at this point until somebody comes up with something concrete.   

So why did I post this blog then you ask?  Because if I had to bet on whether this rumor was true or false I’d bet on true.  And that’s good enough for me and good enough to get published on the Stool.  Because unlike mainstream media outlets, Barstool Sports doesn't pretend to always be based on facts.  It can be, but it’s also based on opinions, rumors and gossip.  We won’t publish something that we know is false just to create controversy like lots of places. But if I believe in my heart of hearts that something is true than I will publish it.     So for me this would kind of be like if E! News speculating that a couple is dating or something to that effect. 

And if this rumor is true I wonder what that means for the future of Heidi Watney?  Because the way things are going right now, I don’t think there is any doubt that Heidi is way more valuable to the organization than Tek.  Listen catchers who hit .140 grow on trees.  Chicks that look like Heidi Watney are 1 in a million.

Vote 1 for the rumor is true and 10 for you think it’s false

As much as we make fun of WEEI here at the Stool (still can't believe they hired Borges) what they and NESN do in their two day Jimmy Fund drive more than makes up for it. It's really one of the great things about living in this area. So we're asking all Stoolies to join the cause and donate whatever you can if you haven't already. If the stories aren't enough to motivate you which I find impossible, just remember that pretty much everybody will be effected by Cancer one way or another before it's all said and done. It's a great cause and everybody should dig deep to help them reach their 4 million dollar goal.

Donation Phone Number - 877.738.1234

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This video isn't that great but still everytime the dad said "Primetime" I cracked up.

LONGVIEW, Texas —A 35-year-old Texas woman has been jailed after police say she made her 12-year-old daughter drive her to a bar. Police in Longview say they watched a minivan turn into a driveway without signaling on Wednesday and bump into a home at a low speed. They say the car was driven by Jennifer Lynn Rosenberg's daughter. Police say the girl told an officer she had just dropped her mother off at a bar. They say they found Rosenburg at the bar and that she admitted having her daughter drive her there.

Hey, let's give credit to the alcoholic mom here for a second before we throw her in a Texas prison. She did the right thing. She knew she'd be too bombed to drive home so she gave someone else the keys. Granted that someone else happened to be a 12 year old but that's still a Profile in Courage if I ever saw one. They should rename the road after this woman. Seriously though, who would you rather have driving - a hammered 35 year old woman or a (hopefully) sober 12 year old girl? Technically they're both women drivers, but 100 times out of 100 I'll take the one who's not face-down and topless on the bar.

Click here for pic of mom

Happy Fucking Friday

Click Here For Answer

Bostonherald.com - The Red Sox [ team stats] are sticking with their story that they were justified in ejecting a 16-year-old Waltham teen from Fenway Park [map] Tuesday night for what they believe was interference with a ball hit to the center field bleachers by slugger David Ortiz [ stats]. Once fan interference was called, Fenway Park security officials sought out Falzone and ejected him from the park.  A Red Sox official said Fenway Park security chief Charles Cellucci “saw the replay four times” and determined that Falzone had interfered with the play. Replays from NESN are inconclusive. The Red Sox said Cellucci was not available for comment. While Falzone spent most of yesterday doing media interviews, his mother, Terry Falzone, was left to wonder why the Red Sox would toss a 16-year-old out to the street in the middle of a game.“We’re all Red Sox fans right from the start,” she said. “That’s not going to change. And Steven said the security people treated him with respect. They even asked him if he had a ride home. But I’m very disappointed they they would put a 16-year-old out on Lansdowne Street.“People are out there on the street drinking,” she said. “What if some drunk had said, ‘Oh, you’re the kid who caught that ball,’ and a fight had started? If some fan had beat him up out there on the street, we’d be having a different conversation right now. I don’t know why they couldn’t have had them wait in an office until I could pick them up.” Members of the Falzone family contacted the Red Sox yesterday asking that they offer tickets to another game, but the request was denied. “They called back and said if they did anything, it would undermine the umpires,” Steven Falzone said.

I know this happened on Wednesday but I forgot to talk about it.  First of all this mother can cut the shit with her sob story about how her son was in danger when he got kicked out onto Lansdowne Street.  I mean it’s not fucking Compton out there.  Plus if it was so dangerous he should have accepted the ride home that the Red Sox offered him in the first place.  But the Red Sox have to be kidding me here.   There is a difference between fan interference and blatant asshole fan interference.   I mean if a ball comes right at you and is borderline a HR, there isn’t a soul on the planet who wouldn’t try to catch it.   So I don’t think this kid did anything wrong.    But shit happens in the heat of the moment and the Red Sox overreacted and kicked him out.   Fine.   But why are they being such hard asses about it?   What is Lucchino trying to prove?  Give the fucking kid a new pair of tickets already.   It’s absolutely mind boggling the stance the Red Sox are taking on this.  It will show up the umpires?  Are you fucking kidding me?   It still amazes me that no matter how hard this ownership tries they are still totally detached from reality.  I’d be stunned if they don’t reverse this decision within a couple weeks when they realize what assholes they look like here.     For me this is a no brainer. 

Vote 1 for the kid gets nothing and likes it or 10 for he deserves a new set

(This chick can get naked and scream all she wants and I won't say boo)

LONDON—A British man has been banned from visiting his girlfriend's home after neighbors complained about noisy sex, a local official said Thursday. A court barred Adam Hinton, 32, from being within 110 yards of his 29-year-old girlfriend Kerry Norris' apartment, Brighton and Hove City Council spokesman Mike Taggart said.Residents of Norris's publicly owned home had been complaining since 2006 about thumping music, banging headboards and screamed obscenities, Taggart said.Neighbors also complained about Norris sunbathing naked in her yard, and were upset that a 6-year-old child in the building had been "subjected to the sort of obscenities you wouldn't want a 6-year-old to hear," the spokesman said."She is a classic nightmare neighbor," Taggart said, insisting the case was not about sex. "It's about allowing your neighbors to have a normal decent life without being disturbed."

First of all I'm not sure whether I've ever seen a smirk say so much as this guy's smirk. You can almost read his mind. "That's right I got banned for fucking the shit out of my girlfriend and made her scream so loud it shook the rafters" Guy thinks he's King Kong or something. Anyway leave it to the fucking British to ban a dude from visiting his girlfriend because they are too loud during sex.  I mean how Un-American is that?   And what’s up with the neighbors complaining about her sunbathing naked in her yard?   Some guys wait their entire life for a break like this.   I would have bet my life that Kerry Norris is hideous, but she's not. In fact she's a borderline MILF. So what gives? I'm as confused as Al Troutwig was last night with the scoring in women's gymnastics competition.

PS – What is a publicly owned house?  Did China invade Great Britain or something?

Now if you told me before the Olympics that after 7 days of competition we’d hear a "power ballad" by the 80's super group Europe more times than the Russian National Anthem I would’ve thought you were crazy. But my friends, unfortunately, that’s exactly what’s happened.  In case you haven’t noticed anything other than Misty May’s ass, the Olympic DJ at the beach volleyball court keeps playing "Carrie" by Europe every freaking time Kerri Walsh blocks a shot.  By my count now we’ve heard that song 27 times and the Russian National Anthem only 3.  I mean is this the Olympics or a dive bar in New Hampshire? But more importantly, what’s going on with the Russians?  Only 3 Gold medals in a week?  If this was during the Cold War they'd have 50 by now. It just goes to show you can't wage a border war and win the Olympics at the same time. It's Military History 101. Say what you want about him, but there's no way this shit would ever happen under Stalin.

And to add insult to injury a Russian wins the Womens Gynmastics All Around last night only to hear the Star Spangled Banner played above her. Once again, Stalin rolling around in his grave.

Stratford(AP) -- A member of the Bunnell High School wrestling team in Stratford is charged with sexually assaulting a teammate. The 16-year-old boy is charged with one count of fourth-degree sexual assault. The boy's name has not been released and he has been released on bond. Police say the charges are based on an incident last December during a wrestling team practice session at the school. Police say the 17-year-old victim was pinned down by another wrestler and the 16-year-old allegedly bent down and exposed his genitals in the victim's face. Police say the victim managed to free himself and went to a water cooler to rinse out his mouth, saying the whole incident was disgusting.

Oh man.  Nothing worse than getting teabagged during wrestling practice.   Sorry kid but there is no amount of water that can erase that from your memory.   Unfortunately he has nobody to blame but himself.  Listen if you’re strong enough to escape in the process of getting teabagged, then you should be strong enough to escape before getting teabagged.   I mean if you see sweaty balls coming at your face, you got to do whatever you got to do to get out of there.   I don’t care whether you bite, scratch. kick whatever.  Obviously the victim didn’t do enough to fight this assault in the beginning and now he has two years of teabagging nightmares to deal with.   Tough life lesson right there.   

This chick can play for me anyday! I mean Manzo gets the sniffles and he won't blog anymore. This reporter gets shot and just keeps on going. I think it's safe to say we have a winner for our "I Don't Fuck Around" award for the week. This is pretty fucking hardcore. I think even the sniper was impressed. That's probably why he stopped shooting.

More Jessica here...

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