Random Thoughts

Yikes! The real game isn't on the field tonight boys and girls. It's a cat fight hot blond style. It's Heidi Watney Vs. Erin Andrews Fenway Park Style. I mean just look at Erin Andrews checking out Heidi's ass sizing up the competition. You think she doesn't know this is a title fight? Please.

Vote 1 for Heidi and 10 For Erin

I don't usually like stuff like this, but I thought this was pretty good because it's true. For whatever reason guys that like MMA seem to think that watching it automatically makes them tough. They put on their Tapout tshirts and strut around like they're Anderson Silva or something. Somewhere in a dark alley Soog weeps.

PS - I apologize for all the website issues. I can assure you I'm very close to killing myself. Decent chance we got hacked by a fat chick who knows technology. Not even kidding.

I hate to rain on everybody’s Olympics parade, but I’d just like to state for the record that swimming is stupid.   Yeah I know everybody wants to suck Michael Phelps dick because he’s won like 84 gold medals this year, but how many fucking medals can one guy win in the same sport?   Seriously all these different types of strokes is as ridiculous as it gets.   There should be like 6 different distance events and maybe a couple relays and that’s it.   None of this breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, freestyle, hold your breath type shit.  That’s the equivalent of letting the USA basketball team win multiple gold medals for beating teams with only jump shots, dunks, layups, blocks etc.   I mean when you’re the best, you’re the best.   So while Michael Phelps is clearly a legendary swimmer all this talk about how he’s the greatest Olympian of all time is nuts.   He just happens to compete in a sport where you can win like 42 times for doing virtually the same thing.    

NYPost.com - A creepy bogus moviemaker is trolling Manhattan, telling women he's casting for Hollywood - but he's really out to cop a cheap feel, victims told The Post.   Several women said they were inappropriately touched by the New Jersey man after he lured them to clothing stores to try on outfits purportedly for film roles.   In each case, the man cornered the woman in a dressing room. Magazine editor Olivia Allin, 24, described a similar run-in with a man calling himself "Ray" Raihan.   The size-8 Allin said he picked out size-4 clothing for her at H&M, adding, "He tried to physically push me into these clothes by touching my boobs."

Let me ask you this.  Who is more to blame here?  The fake moviemaker who hatched this scheme or the girls who fell for it?   I mean if you’re a fat chick and Ray Raihan (pronounced Ray Rayhan) comes up to you and says he wants to put you in movie and then takes you to H&M to try on cloths, shouldn’t you realize that you’re about to get molested?  I’d think it would be common sense really.  Regardless in terms of how sexual assault schemes go, this was amateur hour at the Apollo.  I mean do me a favor Ray.   If you’re going to pretend to be a Hollywood Director at least have some class and rent out an apartment with a casting couch and wardrobe changes already there.    Sure this shit may fly with size 8 chicks, but no way a size 2 falls for this crap.

The NY Daily News: It's Giants Stadium when the Giants play there and the Meadowlands when the Jets play there, but the two teams agreed Tuesday to a new booze policy for tailgating. To curb alcohol use and drunken fan antics, tailgating will be restricted to five hours before games or events... Also yesterday, the New Jersey Sports and Exposition Authority announced that view-blocking banners will be hung on the spiral staircase at Gate D to help eliminate harassment of women during Jets games. Last season, security at Gate D was increased at Jets games because hundreds of men would gather at halftime and demand women expose their breasts.

What a dark day this must be for Gang Green fans. Getting hammered and gathering around Gate D bullying girls is part of their culture. Asking them to stop is like asking Cubs fans to stop throwing opponent's HR balls back, or banning the Lambeau Leap or telling the Fighting Irish the can't sing the "Alma Mater." Harassing girls into flashing their juggs is a tradition for Jets fans, no less so than overrating their quarterbacks, bitching about the Patriots or telling that same frickin' Joe Namath guarantee story from 40 years ago. Exposed tittays are their "Sweet Caroline." What are they supposed to do now? Sit in the stands and watch the J! E! T! S! win four games again? At least the NJS&EA didn't say they can't see Eric Mangini's tits. So Steve B and the Jets fans got that going for them. Which is nice.

(This picture is not from last night)

In case you missed it, Winchester’s Alicia Sacramone stunk up the joint in the Women’s Gymnastics competition last night.    And being the humanitarian that he is Pete Manzo was on the blog 10 seconds after it was over comparing her performance to Bill Buckner in the 86 World Series.   Now I’m not here to discuss whether Alicia blew the competition for the US or whether she choked.  Because that’s not even open for debate.   The announcer even said that “the reason the girls feel so bad for her is because they’ve seen her do the routine a million times with no problem”  That is the definition of a choke.  Now would the US have won gold if Alicia didn’t keep falling down?   Maybe, maybe not.   But there is no doubt that she single handedly ruined any chance they had to win.  And don’t give me this crap about the final score either because by the time Sacramone was done with her hatchet job she had totally deflated the rest of the team and nobody cared anymore.  

But that’s not the point of this blog.  The point is whether it is out of bounds to attack Alicia Sacramone just like you would any other athlete who fucks up on such a big stage?    Clearly Manzo had no problem with it, but his heart is black and cold like a winter night.   Personally I felt terrible for Alicia.  Especially when NBC wouldn’t stop following her around and doing close ups on her face.   I think they even put an onion in front of her to try and get her to break down.    I just didn’t have the heart to rip her.   Clearly Manzo felt differently and I’m not so sure he’s out of bounds for it either.  I mean she is 20 years old.  And if the US won she’d be a hero and probably get all sorts of endorsement deals.    So isn’t that just part of the deal nowadays?    I don’t know.  It’s a tough one.   I’m curious what the Stoolies think considering they tend to be the most miserable people on earth. Personally I think it's totally fair game to rip her. I just couldn't do it because my heart is too big.

Vote 1 for Alicia should get a free pass and 10 for she should be raked over the coals

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Newsday: On one side, we have Joe Torre, follically challenged field manager, representing truth, justice and the Dodgers way of doing things. On the other, we have Manny Ramirez, whose braided hair now extends more than a foot below the nape of his neck, standing up for the principle of Manny being Manny. Both agree that something will be done. What they can't seem to agree on is what will be done, when, or by whom. "We'll see," Manny said... when asked if he was going to cut his hair. "We're talking about it." "I'm not negotiating anything," Torre said, not laughing, when the conversation was recounted to him a few minutes later in the Dodgers' dugout. "He'll do it. He told me he'll do it.

"I'm beginning to get tired of being right all the time. Within six minutes of the news about Manny going to the Dodgers being posted on this board, I wrote the following knee jerk reation in the comments section: "Hey Joe Torre, good freaking luck. I suppose you'll be meeting him in the clubhouse with a pair of scissors and a razor." So now it's been, what? thirteen days?since Manny darkened the door of TheMostRespectedManagerintheGame's office, and he still hasn't capitulated. The LA is renting him for eight weeks, and he's already spent two weeks... 1/4 of his Dodger's career... refusing to abide by Torre's dress code.The only question is: who's more full of it here: Manny or Torre? Manny says he loves LA and wants to end his career there, but this just proves he's thinking only about his next contract. He knows his hair is iconic; that it's become part of the Manny brand and whoever signs him in November will use his 'do as part of its marketing. Torre meanwhile is trying to save face by defending a stupid rule that has nothing at all to do with winning championships. Because it makes him look like he's in charge; that his leadership ... as defined by adherence to his grooming rules... put him on the path to the Hall of Fame, not the great pitching and clutch hitting of the late '90's Yankees teams. It's a tough call. All I know is I hope it lasts all season. Watching this standoff might be the only interesting thing that goes on in NL down the stretch. PS: The Sox are 8-3 with the very well-groomed Jason Bay in the lineup.

ABC.com

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Look at Tree Man holding a pen and doing some catalog shopping like it ain't no thing. I bet the ladies are lining up at his door right now. After all what's that expression? Huge hands equals huge dick? If that's true then Tree Man must be fucking hung like a wooden horse.

Well the Olympics finally gave us the signature moment that everybody has been waiting for. No not the US Swim Team's heroic relay victory, but rather an instant classic from the weightlifting competition. A moment so transcendent that we immediately need to compare it to the great weightlifting mishaps of all time. And to be honest I think this new one is the best. Keep in mind this happened on the biggest stage possible! Still it was neck and neck with the last video (It's Your Show Ryan, Get It Off Him!) until those little Chinese people came out with the cards and did the best "nothing to see here" routine of all time. That had me in tears.

PS - I will be hearing that primal scream in my nightmares tonight for sure...

YESTERDAY

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A CHINESE girl with the voice of an angel was excluded from the Beijing Olympic opening ceremony – because she had wonky TEETH. Linn Maioke captured the hearts of millions around the world with her performance at the Olympic opening ceremony. But the nine-year-old was not actually singing – she was lip-synching to the voice of seven-year-old Yang Peiyi. Yang's crooked teeth meant she missed out on the opening ceremony's top spot. The revelation has stirred up anger in China’s Internet chat rooms and on comment pages. “That’s bull****. Any little boy or girl who is not so good looking and sees such an explanation will sob their heart out.”

Even more than the Red Sox winning the wildest game of the century, this is the story everyone will be talking about today. Personally I can't wait to hear all the indignant howling and self-righteous anger about what an abombination this is and what a backwards, Third World hellhole China must be to put cute girlish good looks ahead of wonky-toothed vocal talent. Because of course, something like that could never happen here. No, we're way too progressive to pull a stunt like letting someone lip synch just because they're prettier than the actual singer. OK, we gave a Grammy to the craptacular Milli Vanilli. And we gave another to C+C Music Factory who put Zelma Davis in their videos instead of big fatty Martha Wash. Oh, and there was that creepy fertility mom who pumped out the litter of septuplets and Newsweek photoshopped out her wonky teeth. But never let it be said we're hung up on looks like the Chinese are.

Sarcasm aside, this whole controversy just shows how far China has come. Because maybe you can "be not so good looking" in some Communist dictatorship or England, but if you want to join the developed world, you want to showcase your talent and become an international star, the first stop is the dentist.

More Misty here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com

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Well that was fucking brutal.

To quote the great Al Troutwig, "A disaster of epic proportions." Personally I still reserve that distinction for Dan Vs. Dave, but it was still pretty bad.

Vote 1 for Buckner, Vote 10 for Sacramone