LOWELL -- Police say it started when a 42-year-old Lowell man used cash advances from credit cards to fill a duffel bag with $62,000, spent an hour or two drinking cognac, and then set out in search of a prostitute. What would result, said a police official who declined to be named, was one of the most sordid tales city police have seen in quite a while.  The 42-year-old man in question, who police have not identified, found his alleged prostitute in the Lower Highlands Saturday, where he rode on his bike about 8 p.m., with a Nike duffel bag slung on his shoulder.  He met Jessica Garcia, 30, of 46 Aiken Ave., Unit 2, Lowell, in front of 143 Westford St., and followed her into the basement after she solicited him, according to a police report.  Inside the basement, the two negotiated a price of $30 for sex, and when the man retrieved the money from his bag, Garcia noticed how much cash he had, according to police.  Garcia also noticed just how drunk the would-be customer was, and decided to take his money, police said. As the man sat intoxicated in a chair, Garcia tied the man's belt around his ankles, and then suddenly shoved him, knocking him to the floor as she grabbed the duffel bag and ran off, according to police. The man soon appeared at the Highlands precinct reporting the robbery about 8:30 p.m.  Though the man's story sounded bizarre, detectives took a description of the woman, and began checking at local hotels to see if  anyone fitting that description had recently checked in and paid in cash.  At the DoubleTree Hotel downtown, employees confirmed that someone had, and that the woman fit the description.  About 3 a.m., officers knocked on the woman's room door and were invited inside, immediately spotting two large stacks of $20 and $50 bills on a nightstand. In all, $44,521 was found in the hotel room, police said. Garcia had spent some of the money on Lottery tickets and alcohol, but the rest is unaccounted for, according to police.

The stories just keep getting nuttier and nuttier around here.  I honestly can’t even begin to wrap my brain around this.    But here are the questions that popped into my mind in no particular order.  Free Barstool hat to anybody who can come up with a logical answer for all of them. And I will not accept that this was Brewster's Millions II and this guy had to spend 60K in Lowell in 24 hours.

Questions for the victim  

1. Why do you need a 60,000 grand to buy a 30 dollar hooker?  
2. Why didn’t you take a cab instead of riding a bike?
3. Why would you settle for a 30 dollar hooker when you have 60 grand on you?
4. Why wouldn’t you rent a hotel room instead of hooking up in this chick’s basement?
5. Where did this guy get 60 grand cash from? When I lose 5 grand gambling it's a hassle at the bank.
6. What kind of duffle bag can hold 60 grand cash cash?

Questions for the stripper

1. If you just robbed a guy of 60 grand why would you buy scratch tickets with it?   I mean at least go to Foxwoods or something.
2. Why stay at a DoubleTree?  There has to be something nicer than that.
3. How many fucking scatch tickets did this bitch buy?

Questions for the police

6.   Why would you ever believe this guy’s story in the first place?