WeirdAsianNews.com - Last night in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble. Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park. The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole. He panicked and called the police to help him.  When police arrive they found Xian stuck face down where he had been stuck for some time. When doctors arrived on the scene they tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood, but the penis was so swollen that they ended up having to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital. 4 painful hours later, Doctors finally separated Xian from his bench. Doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer, they would have had to remove his penis.

Listen I may not be expert at banging park benches, but even I know that you got to lube the thing up first.   It’s just common sense really.  I mean if you don’t, you’re basically begging to get your dick caught in the hole.  Still despite this rookie mistake, you got to feel bad for Xing.  Nobody wants to have to call 912 in this situation.  And just when you think it can’t get any more humiliating, the Chinese paparazzi show up out of nowhere and start taking pictures.    You knew they wouldn’t miss a 50 year storm.

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