AUGUST 6--While on patrol Monday evening, an Indiana cop noticed a naked guy standing in the window of a Fort Wayne home. So she approached the man's front door, which was wide open, to investigate further. It was then that Officer S. Hughes and a colleague were treated to the sight of a prone Ronald Miller, 56, engaging in a remarkably lewd act on his living room sofa. For the dirty details, you'll have to read the below Fort Wayne Police Department report, which notes that Miller is apparently handy with a claw hammer and some motor oil. Miller, pictured in the mug shot at right, was arrested on a felony indecency charge. A neighbor told cops that Miller was "not right" and parades around naked "24/24."

Just in case you didn’t read the police report, Mr. Miller was busted with the claw hammer up his asshole and motor oil smeared all over his dick.  Yawn. Same old same old.   Regardless let this be a lesson to all the kids out there.  When you’re about to get freaky with the claw hammer, close the blinds.   It’s common sense really.