TAMPA, Fla.—A second Florida man has been arrested on charges of making false 911 calls in as many days. An arrest report says 47-year-old Carlos Gutierrez was at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino early Monday and called 911 to say the slot machine stole his money. The report says Gutierrez left the casino to place a second 911 call to say the same thing. He was arrested and charged with making a false 911 call.

On Sunday another man was arrested after calling 911 five times during an argument with his brother. He demanded that dispatchers send deputies to help sort things out. And in northern Florida last week, a Jacksonville man called 911 to complain that a Subway left the sauce off a spicy Italian sandwich.

First of all there’s a number for people who think the slot machines stole their money and it’s posted right above the machine: 1-800-GET-HELP.  That’s the number this guy should be calling.  But more importantly, I just invented a different number that people can call anytime they have a non-life threatening emergency. The number: 9-1-2.  That’s right, 9-1-2.  It’s easy to remember and most of all will prevent these idiots from tying up the actual emergency number of 9-1-1.  Subway forgot the sauce?  9-1-2.  Argument with your brother?  9-1-2.   Can’t find the remote?  Again, 9-1-2.   Stuff like that from now on should all go through 9-1-2.   Not bad, huh? And you thought Barstool Sports was only good for Smokeshows and mortal locks. I pretty much just saved a life.