I know what everybody is thinking right now.  Hey, wasn’t Brownies Beer Die Open 2008 this past weekend?    And didn’t they invite Barstool Sports to play in it this year?   Well the answer is yes on both accounts.         Yup while everybody else was laying on their couch getting fat on Saturday, I was putting it all on the line for the chance to hoist the richest trophy in all of Abington; The Brownies Beer Die Cup.     Now let me preface by saying that my partner and I had never played Beer Die in our lives.  So the odds were clearly stacked against us considering we were going against some of the finest Beer Die players the South Shore has to offer.   I mean there were shirts from Agawam to Weymouth in the house.    Still Barstool Sports doesn’t show up anywhere if we don’t think we can dominate.  I even brought along a couple former smokeshows to distract the other team and possibly give out celebratory blowjobs when we won.   

Anyway after an hour of practice I was actually somewhat confident that we were the team to beat.  Our defense was like the 85 Bears.  We just totally smothered the die whenever it hit the table.  I even think I heard it scream once in pain.  Bottom line is that if we were going to lose our opponents would have to play perfect beer die to beat us.  Unfortunately that’s exactly what happened in the first game.  It was like Villanova vs. Georgetown all over again.   The guys we played just couldn’t miss.  Now anybody who knows anything about double elimination tournaments knows that you don’t want to go into the loser’s bracket after the first game.    After all, nobody in the history of Brownies Beer Die Open had ever lost their first game and gone on to win the championship.    But we’d never been in it before.   So undaunted we slowly began the epic march back to the top of the mountain.  We destroyed our next 3 opponents and suddenly everybody was whispering about the 1990 Swampscott Vs. Abington Junior Little League State Final when we came back from 4 runs down with 2 outs in the last inning to capture the championship.  Could it happen again this time on Abington’s home turf?     Well unfortunately the answer was no.   We ended up getting bounced by the 2 time defending champ on center court.  Some fans said the brackets were rigged and that they brought in the cooler to shut us down, but I digress.    Overall I have nothing but great things to say about the event.   The Stool will be a fixture now on and I highly recommend anybody who considers themselves a top shelf MA Beer Die player to get their ass down there next year.      Because to be the best you got to beat the best.   Although some would argue that was us this past Saturday despite the 3-2 record.

PS - Anybody who doesn't think this should be an olympic sport can talk to my quads which are still burning from getting low.