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August 4, 2008

Random Thoughts


That Hurt!

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Anybody who says they didn't think that ball was falling off the bat of Sean Casey is lying. Granted we didn't deserve to win the game, but the Royals were doing their best to give it to us. And could somebody please tell Clay Buchholz to take off that god damn necklace already. The thing is obviously weighing him down. Yeah that shit may fly when you're throwing no no's, but not when you're getting mashed every time you go out there.

— elpresidente, 11:19 pm | permalink | 23 comments


Welcome to the End Of the Internet Part II

 

This could be a new late night feature on Barstool Sports. Videos that have absolutely nothing to do with anything and may be considered the end of the Internet.. Granted this isn't Cakefarts or Two Girls One Cup, but it's still pretty weird. I wonder who comes up with this shit?

"I got a great idea! Let's send a chick into a hotel room and have her lick everything from the alarm clock, to the shower curtain to the inside of the toilet. It will be huge."

— elpresidente, 9:42 pm | permalink | 26 comments


Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day (April)

Introducing April from North Attleboro. Yes that's her real name so I'm told. Anyway this girl just does it for me. I think she is stunning. My poor little heart will be broken into a million tiny pieces if April doesn't make it to our 1st ever Smokeshow Party. (Details TBD)

And speaking of our smokeshow party, do you know how to guarantee that you don't get shut out at what has to be considered the biggest event in the history of the universe? Nominate a smokeshow and if we feature her on the site then you're in. It's that easy. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

 

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Click for more of April

 

 

— elpresidente, 5:24 pm | permalink


DUI Showdown...Who Ya Got?

The Champ

Vs.

The Challenger

 

This one is pretty easy. The first time each guy smashes their face into the wall/ground is a draw in my book. But the the first guy manages to get up and continue while the other guy just laid there knocked out on the pavement. I guess it just goes to show that you can never underestimate the heart of champion.

 

Vote 1 for the challenger and 10 for the champ

 

— elpresidente, 4:47 pm | permalink | 30 comments


Is Big Brown Really Back?

Did anyone see Big Brown’s “big” comeback yesterday in the Haskell?  No?  Well it was only shown on TVG and ESPN Classic, which nobody even gets anymore, so I can’t imagine many non-degenerates did. 

Anyway I watched the race, obviously betting against Big Brown in the process, and for one, was not impressed.  First of all it took every last drop of energy (steroids) and every last whip from Kent Desormeux to get Big Brown passed 20-1 Coal Play to win the freaking race.  Sure it was gutsy, and sure Coal Play ran a huge race, but this can’t be a good sign for Dick Dutrow and the scumbag owner if they’re thinking about beating the likes of Curlin in the Breeders Cup. 

In case you missed it, click above video, but basically at the same point in the Belmont where Big Brown was pulled up, this time, in the Haskell, Desormeux decided to whip the shit out of him.  Now why didn’t he do that when the horse was going for the Triple Crown?  Nobody f*cking knows.  As one of 100,000 people in attendance who waited 4 hours in the blazing heat that day, I’d really appreciate an answer.  I mean this isn’t “Unsolved Mysteries”.  Somebody has to know what happened.  Although I guess if the Belmont was fixed, which I still believe is absolutely a possibility, we won’t know the answer until everybody involved – owner, trainer, jockey – even the horse, is dead. Anyway, rate the chances of Big Brown winning the BC Classic. Vote 1 for no way, vote 10 for mortal lock.

— manzo, 4:05 pm | permalink | 21 comments


Heidi Watney Breaks Out the NESN Hat

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I know alot of people think the big news of the weekend was Jason Bay. Wrong! The big news was that Heidi Watney broke out the NESN hat for the first time this season. I got to be honest here. I'm not loving this look. Call me crazy, but I'm a firm believer that when hot have long blond hair you just need to let it flow. No need to try and get gimmicky. Maybe it's a different story if you're a hot chick in the crowd watching the game, but not when you're the on-field girl for NESN. Not to mention the fact that NESN didn't do her any favors with that hat either. It kind of looks like something they give away at Suffolk Downs on Mass Cap day or something. No offense to Suffolk.

 

Vote 1 for pro hat and 10 for no hat

— elpresidente, 3:32 pm | permalink | 25 comments


Is Katie Holmes Trying To Bring Back Pegged Jeans?

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Listen, I'm not a Katie Holmes fan. Clearly her best days are behind her and she's obviously insane. But you got to tip your cap to anybody who goes old school and rocks the pegged jeans. Did she do it on purpose? Probably not, but pegged jeans are still pegged jeans. It's like banking a three. It still counts.

— elpresidente, 2:51 pm | permalink | 66 comments


ESPN Hates Boston

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Adrants.com - Acting quickly following the trade of the Red Sox' Manny Ramirez to the Los Angeles Dodgers, last Thursday, ESPN agency Ground Zero, by noon Friday, had plastered laundromats around LA county with lost socks affixed to a tag which read, "Lose a sock, Boston? ESPN joins Los Angeles in welcoming Manny Ramirez."

 

I don't get it. Since when does ESPN do shit like this? They just can't let spygate go over there huh? Or do you think this is because we beat the Lakers? Whatever the case may be it just kind of proves that ESPN is jealous of Boston. Welcome to the club baby.

 

- Thanks to Alex at machochip for the tip

— elpresidente, 2:15 pm | permalink | 60 comments


Guess That Ass

— elpresidente, 1:39 pm | permalink | 19 comments


Paul Pierce Handcuffed In Vegas

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Boston.com - The Boston Celtics' Paul Pierce, the most valuable player in the 2008 NBA Finals, was handcuffed by Las Vegas police early Sunday after he was initially uncooperative following a traffic stop for driving erratically on the Strip. Bill Cassell, public information officer for the Metropolitan Police Department, said he did not have the details about why Pierce was cuffed but said it often happens when "an individual is loudly hostile." "You have to remember he's a big guy," Cassell said. Pierce, a forward who is 6 feet 7 inches tall and weighs 235 pounds, "rapidly calmed down," and police removed the handcuffs after about 15 minutes, Cassell said. A Breathalyzer showed Pierce registered below the 0.08 level that defines legal intoxication in Nevada. Pierce did not drive the car after he was stopped.

Paul Pierce is still in fucking Vegas?   Are you shitting me?    If I’m there for more than 48 hours there is a 50/50 chance I end up dead.   Paul has been there for like 2 months now, showing up everywhere from strip clubs to Manny Pacquiao fights.    And apparently he’s still going strong.    Anyway looks like the cops fucked up on this one huh?   They pull over a big black man at 3am for “erratic driving” and he is belligerent enough to get handcuffed, but they don’t even give him a ticket?     Something doesn’t add up here.   He probably didn’t deserve to get pulled over in the first place and once the cops realized he was sober and a World Champion to boot they just tucked tail and got out of there.

In other news Tebucky Jones beat the shit out of somebody at Mohegan Sun…

— elpresidente, 1:07 pm | permalink | 21 comments


Club Tells Fat Chicks To Go Home

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Thisisjersey.com - FEMALE clubbers were refused entry into Havana nightclub on Saturday night for being too fat. Police were called to calm the situation outside the Halkett Street club as bouncers and manager Martin Sayers allegedly told women to ‘go away and lose some weight’. Over 20 women are expected to give statements to the police today and a Facebook page, labelled Havana Club Jersey Discrimination and using an image from US cartoon fatFamily Guy, has already attracted over 100 supporters calling for Islanders to boycott the club. Georgina Mason was one of the ladies refused entry. The 23-year-old, who works for Lloyds TSB, had been enjoying a night out with friends when it turned sour. ‘About five or six or us got to Havana at about 11.30 pm and the bouncers said we were not allowed in because we were too big. I told them not to be ridiculous and asked to speak to the manager,’ she said.‘When the manager came out he would not look at me directly but said that they had received too many complaints about fat people and he told me: “Go and lose some weight before you can come in – fat people are bad for business.”

 

I don’t get why these chicks are giving statements to the police?  Ladies you’re fat.  Deal with it.  I mean I may not know much about life, but even I know that fat chicks aren’t allowed to party with pretty chicks.   It’s Constitution 101.  Seriously, you learn that shit in the 2nd grade.  So these bitches can set up all the facebook pages they want.   Bottom-line is if you want to party at Club Havana, hit the treadmill.  Because the manager is right; fat chicks are bad for business.  I’ve been saying it for years.   You can’t expect to run a hot club if you got a bunch of lard ass’s clogging up the dance floor.     

— elpresidente, 12:19 pm | permalink | 26 comments


Bitter Old Ugly Sports Reporter Bashes Erin Andrews For Being Hot

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(Mike Nadel Thinks Erin Andrews is A Disgrace To Sports Journalism Because She's Hot And Won't Return His Phone Calls)

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MILWAUKEE—  Erin Andrews, the ESPN "it" babe who clearly isn't afraid to flaunt it, sauntered around the visiting clubhouse, flitting from one Cubs player to another. Her skimpy outfit -- designed to accentuate her, um, positives -- had players leering at her. Some made lewd comments under their breath. Others giggled like 12-year-olds. "Good for you, Rammie," Andrews said three hours before the game, bending forward to shake Aramis Ramirez's hand. "Good for you." She didn't ask him any questions because he was sitting on the players-only sofa; she seemingly just wanted to show "Rammie" her support. Weird. Moments later, the blonde reporter was chatting with Alfonso Soriano. At one point, she placed her hand suggestively on Soriano's left bicep.  Was I reading too much into all this? I don't think so. I've been a paid observer for a long time ... and I wasn't exactly the only one who noticed. This went on for at least an hour. Finally, Piniella emerged from his office, ready for his dugout media session. As he turned the corner, there was Andrews in all of her bare-legged, high-heeled, low-necklined glory. "Hey, hey, hey! Look at this!" Piniella said, loudly and excitedly. "Are you doing a baseball game today or a modeling assignment?" Fair question. I have seen Andrews at many events in recent years and this was the first time I had witnessed anything quite like this, which is why it seemed so bizarre.  Did she really feel playing the sexpot was necessary to practice journalism? She is good-looking enough and has enough of a high-profile job that she would get plenty of interviews and attention even if she showed up in a burlap sack.
 

This reporter would be right at home in Boston!    I mean you can’t teach this type of venom and jealousy.   Seriously is there any group of people in world that are more miserable, bitter, insecure or jealous than traditional sports reporters?   I’ve literally never seen anything like it.   Only a middle aged balding sports reporter could get sent to cover a Cub vs. Brewers game and manage to turn it into an indictment on Erin Andrews for being hot.     Jealous much?   Let’s call a spade a spade here.  The reason this guy hates Erin Andrews is the same reason Buzz Bissinger and Dan Shaughnessy hate blogs.     They know they can’t compete with them.  So as they sit and watch their world crumble around them they are left to whine and moan about how we are all going to hell in a handbag at the hands of sexy sports reporters and evil bloggers.   And the best part is that the gap is only going to widen in the future as they continue to get older and the demographic they need to reach gets younger.   So spare me the indignation about how Erin Andrews is using sex appeal to help her get interviews. The only people who complain about this type of stuff are guys who aren't good enough writers to keep their audience.

— elpresidente, 11:48 am | permalink | 26 comments


Are Jed Lowrie and Jed Hoyer Brothers?

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This post has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but am I the only one that has noticed that Jed Lowrie and Jed Hoyer look exactly alike? Weird right? I mean I only know two guys named Jed in the world and they look exactly the same. What are the odds? I wonder if that was one of the reasons that Jed wanted to draft Jed in the first place? Seriously who wants to have to face a guy who looks exactly like you in the playoffs? It's every executives worst nightmare. It would be like Tomax and Xamot playing on different MLB teams. Anyway I feel like these guys should have their own reality show or something.

— elpresidente, 11:14 am | permalink | 26 comments


Man Gets Stabbed In Pabst Blue Ribbon Dispute....Who Hasn't?

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MOULTON, Ala.A dispute over cheap beer left one man in the hospital with stab wounds and another man charged with assault, authorities said Friday. Grady "Skip" Wilburn Dollar, 64, was accused of stabbing Mickey Joe Hill, 37, during a dispute early Thursday, said Sgt. Mark Richard of the Lawrence County Sheriff's Department. Richard said the two men had been drinking together when Dollar gave Hill $10 and told him to go to the store for more. Richard said Hill brought back only four cans of Natural Light, a low-cost brand, and Dollar got mad that he didn't get more for his money."He said, 'For $10 you could have gotten a half case,'" said Richard. "Four cans of Natural Light only cost $3 or $4."The victim then asked for one of the four beers and pushed the older man when he refused to hand one over, the investigator said. "Then the suspect went to the kitchen, got a big butcher knife and came back and stabbed him," Richard said.

Who did Mickey Joe Hill think he was dealing with here?   This isn’t some pimple faced 18 year old kid you’re buying beer for dude.  This is Grady “skip” Dollar we’re talking about.   AKA the oldest Pabst Blue Ribbon drinker on the planet.   Did Mickey really think he’d get away with bringing home only 4 beers for 10 bucks and Skip wouldn’t notice?     That’s like trying to sneak the sunrise past the rooster.  And then to have the balls not even to give him one when he asks?  It’s almost like the Mick wanted to get stabbed in the back with a big butcher knife.  I mean a man can only be pushed so far…

— elpresidente, 10:35 am | permalink | 23 comments


Manny Loves That LA Fans Don't Care About Sports And Winning

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Boston.com - "I love it," Ramirez said after one game with the Dodgers. "I feel at home already. Put the word on me -- I want to stay here. The weather is nice, the stadium is beautiful." ... "I've already made $160 million," he said. "I like it here. I'm looking for peace. I want to stay here. At the end of the season, if the Dodgers want me to end my career here, we'll sit down and talk. Time will tell." ... "I want peace," Ramirez said. "After the game [Friday night], I went out to dinner and nobody bothers you. In Boston, you go from the stadium straight home. That's what I'm talking about. Some people recognized me, said congratulations, that's it. I could go to the movies with my family. I've got nothing against Boston, but this is what I'm looking for. The game is supposed to be fun." ...

I really don’t want to keep talking about Manny Ramirez, but I couldn’t help myself with this quote.   It just sums up why Manny never liked it in Boston and deep down we never really liked him.  The bottom-line is that Red Sox fans care about baseball and we care about winning.  Manny doesn’t.  He never did.  He never will.   If it were up to him, he’d rather play on a last place team that has 4 people in the crowd and no television or radio coverage as long as he was getting paid.  That’s why when he did a rehab stint at Pawtucket, Theo had to beg him to come back up the Major Leagues.  He loves playing when nobody cares who wins.  Unfortunately Manny’s too dumb to realize that if weren’t for the fact that winning mattered in places like Boston and NY he’d probably be working at McDonalds, pumping gas in the Bronx or be dead.  So instead of being thankful that we’re passionate about baseball he acts like it’s an imposition.   It’s the classic syndrome of a movie star who complains about their fame even though that’s what made them rich in the first place.    You can’t have your cake and eat it too.   Unless of course you are Manny Ramirez.

— elpresidente, 9:57 am | permalink | 45 comments


Wake Up with Dominika Cibulkova

DC

More Dominika here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com

— unclebuck, 9:11 am | permalink | 26 comments