Random Thoughts

(These shirts are going to make some little Guatemalan kid very happy)

The price of advertising on the Stool just went up.  I mean what am I supposed to do with all these fucking shirts?   Nobody ever thinks of the little people.  The God Damn First Lady convinced me these would be a huge seller. That's what I get for listening to a chick.   Now she’s going to have to find a 2^nd job.   

Anyway before I weigh in on this trade let me clarify that I would NOT have made this deal. I've already said that a million times. We are worse off today than we were yesterday. But I refuse to cry about losing a jerk like this. Manny could suffer a career ending injury tomorrow and I would just laugh.   In fact I kind of hope he does.   Manny is everything that is wrong with professional sports.  The ONLY reason I could tolerate him when he was here is because he mashed.   But everybody always knew he was an asshole.  I just pray to god he doesn’t go into the Hall of Fame as a Red Sox.  And if he does I may drive to Cooperstown and boo him during his speech. To be honest I wish I could just erase him from my memory.   Yeah I would have kept him for the rest of the year, but fuck him now that's he gone. Life is too short to let yourself worry about guys like Manny Ramirez.

PS - I especially resented Manny trying to compare his situation to Nomar.   Get a grip dude!   Nomar didn’t complain once his entire time in Boston until Lucchino backstabbed him and it fell apart at the very end.   Nomar always hustled.  Nomar never talked publicly about his contract.  Nomar never ripped the team.  Nomar never loafed it to first base.   Manny, I watched Nomar Garciaparra: I knew Nomar Garciaparra; Nomar Garciaparra was a friend of mine. Manny, you're no Nomar Garciaparra.   Now I hope you die.

Introducing Jenna from the City of Champions, New Bedford.    Now the next question is which one is Jenna?   The Mother or the daughter?    I guess you’ll have to click to find out.

Do you know any smokeshows or smokeshow MILFs?  If you do please send them our way.  Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click for more of Jenna

A Barstool exclusive! (via the globe). Gordon Edes is reporting the Sox have traded Manny Ramirez. No details available yet. Globe server overloaded with traffic. Manny mental peace at stake!

UPDATE

SI.com - The Red Sox traded embattled slugger Manny Ramirez to the Dodgers late Thursday afternoon, SI.com has learned. Jason Bay is headed to Boston as part of the deal, SI.com has learned. The Pirates will get four minor leaguers in the three-way trade. The Red Sox went back-and-forth with the Marlins and Dodgers as the 4 p.m. ET deadline approached. Ramirez said earlier today, as first reported by SI.com, that he would accept a trade to any team.

News.com.au - WITH just eight days before the Beijing Olympics begin, not much could overshadow incredible leaked footage of the 2008 Games opening ceremony - until we got video of Garry Linnell eating a penis.

See this is why some people claim that the Chinese are a master race. Not only did they invent erotic massage parlors, but they know how to handle controversy. Somebody leaks the video of the 2008 Opening Ceremony and what do you do? You respond by leaking video of people eating penises. It's brilliant in it's simplicity. It just proves the ancient Chines proverb that watching people eat cocks trumps watching the Opening Ceremonies 9 out of 10 times and twice on Sundays.

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J.—Yes, Michael Wax stunk. He's the first to admit it. The 440-pound New York City man said he was playing poker in an Atlantic City casino for 17 hours Tuesday and didn't have time to clean up. He understands why grossed-out gamblers complained about his body odor, but said he didn't deserve stinky treatment from the casino that asked him to leave. Wax said he told casino officials: "There's no question I stink. I'm not denying it. I do have an odor. I've been playing for 17 hours." When the Brooklyn man tried to retake his seat at the table, he said a manager told him to leave. He said he asked for a free room to freshen up, and the casino refused. He promptly filed a complaint about his treatment with the Casino Control Commission. His complaint will be reviewed to determine whether any state gambling laws or regulations were violated, a commission spokesman said Wednesday. Wax said his instincts tell him to find a different casino to patronize, but he likes gambling at the Borgata. He said the casino was out of line to tell him he stinks in front of other patrons. "I would like an apology," Wax said

This guy is from the Bronx?  I have a hard time believing that.  Anyway rule #1 of weighing 440 pounds is don’t go 17 hours without showering or having somebody hose you down.   The Casino was totally within their rights to give this guy the boot.  If he wanted to play so bad he should have gotten his own room and cleaned himself up.  But don’t say you were discriminated against because you have BO.    The bigger question is how did this guy even fit into the chair to begin with?  I’m calling bullshit on him weighing 440 lbs.  I mean that’s fucking huge!   Something stinks to high heaven with this story.  (pun intended)

PS – While we’re on the subject of Casino rights I’ve never understood why they can kick out legit card counters.   It makes no sense to me on any level.    There is nothing illegal about it.    It doesn’t seem like you should be able to penalize people for being smart.   I mean they don’t kick out the idiots who hit on 16 vs. a 6.

And this my friends is why they pay this guy the big bucks.

What I find most remarkable about these pictures is that someone is willing to deface such a classically beautiful automobile. And more importantly, why waste the time and effort to recreate what appears to be an intrasquad game?  Why not recreate a great scene from the Steeler past? No not Franco Harris. I was thinking something more along the lines of Troy Brown torching the Steelers special teams or at the very least or maybe the fog bowl?I don’t think that’s asking too much.

Thanks to OTP at PatriotsPlanet for the Pics.

- Blog from Mr. Mill City...

(Who the fuck wrote this sign for Manny? Because as a reader pointed out there is no way in hell Manny knows how to spell "Favre")

Green Bay - The Green Bay Packers are so desperate to not have Brett Favre report to training camp that they reportedly offered him a substantial amount of money to stay home. WTMJ-TV Channel 4 in Milwaukee, citing two sources, reported Wednesday that Packers president Mark Murphy at least floated the idea to Favre of paying him a package in the neighborhood of $20 million over 10 years to remain retired. Murphy met most of Wednesday with Favre and his agent, Bus Cook, in Hattiesburg, Miss.

So the Packers are considering paying Favre $20 million not to play football. And here I was worrying that at some point this saga was going to turn ridiculous.

Every time you think Packer's management and Brett Favre (sorry for calling him "Favre" earlier. I'd forgotten the mandate that he's only to be referred to as "Brett Favre." Calling him "Favre" is like calling Superman "Man.") have reached the limit of buffoonery in all this, they go even further. BrettFavre (one word) has been pulling this postseason Bayou Hamlet horsecrap for at least three years now. In 2006 it took him three months to decide to come back. In '07 it was one month. This year it took him one month to retire (after which ESPN covered it like it was 9/11), one month to hint he might unretire, one day to tell Green Bay he was definitely all done, and another month to decide he wanted back in, wanted his old starting job back, and by the way Aaron Rogers can grow old waiting for the job to open up like he's Prince friggin' Charles. The Packers meanwhile haven't covered themselves in glory, either. Rogers was the first draft pick ever by GM Ted Thompson, but on the mere suggestion BrettFavre wanted to play again, Thompson was halfway to Mississippi on his hands and knees, ready to beg him to come back. Now depending which report you believe, they may bring into camp as a backup, trade him, or pay him to stay away, all the while talking about how they don't want this to turn into a circus. Yeah, you'd hate to have that happen.

I'll be honest here and say up until now, I've been on Green Bay's side and thought BrettFavre was the buffoon. But now I just think the guy's a genius. For a QB of his diminished capacity, who hasn't worked out all offseason and who's guaranteed to throw about twice as many picks as TD's this yaar to scare his team so much that they're willing to cut him a check for $20 million to go away is the greatest business deal in the history of sports. BrettFavre is running a protection racket. Gee, Thompson, nice franchise you got here. It would be a shame if anybody was to come along and be a disruption... Like I said, sheer genius. I'm afraid I'd underestimated BrettFavre.

Jerry's Final Thought: The only flaw in the Packer's plan is that John Madden will probably pay BrettFavre twice that much to come back, because life without him will be unbearable. Just like it will be for these poor saps:

Click Here For the Answer

Man Judge Judy can move pretty quick for an old bag huh? She got out of there like a bat out of hell. I think she was already sipping Margaritas off the Coast of Brazil before the defendant even know what happened. I guess that's why she's the judge.

A Daly City high school counselor was involved in an inappropriate relationship with a 16-year-old student she met at summer church camp, according to prosecutors who said the woman had naked photos of the girl on her cell phone. Melody Ybona Gawliu, 24, pleaded no contest to one count of oral copulation with a minor in return for no more than a year in jail. She will not have to register as a sex offender. Teachers reported the situation to Child Protective Services after becoming suspicious of Gawliu after she brought balloons to school for the girl’s 17th birthday and Daly City police reported finding nude photos of the girl on Gawliu’s phone as well as a text message telling the girl to say to authorities nothing happened between them. Gawliu was initially charged with two counts of digital penetration with a person under age 18, attempting to dissuade a witness and felonious possession of sexual images of a person under age 18.

As long as the criminal justice keeps working 24/7, a little matter like schools being closed for the summer won't slow down the flood of Sex Teacher Scandals. And for those of us who have been wondering when a hot Asian teacher would finally step up and jump in the water, Melody is our Ichiro. Again, I want to make it clear that Barstool in no way approves of the seduction of underage girls by their teachers. Unless it's a good looking female teacher. And based on the only picture we have of Gawliu, she fits the bill. As a matter of fact, she's a godsend. It's no coincidence that "hot" "Asian" "lesbian" and "teacher" are included in 95% of all internet searches.

The Grades:
Looks: Until proven otherwise, I'm assuming there's a hot body connected to that cute face. Grade: A.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: "Gee, I'd like to keep this lesbian relationship a secret, but I see no reason why bringing a bunch of balloons to school for her birthday would draw attention to it." And fans of Sex Teachers always appreciate cell phone picture evidence. Grade: A.
Intangibles: It bears repeating: Hot Asian lesbian. Grade: A.
Overall: A.

Is this real? I mean I'd never heard of the blob jump before I saw this video, but after watching it I did research to see if there were any more videos like it out there. And while there are a ton of blob jumps on youtube, none of them come even close to this. So that leads me back to the original question. Is this real? I'm voting no.

Vote 1 for real and 10 for no

No way this kid came up with this sign by himself right? There had to be a perveted dad behind this somewhere. Regardless if I was this boy I'd totally hold Heidi to this date. I mean 2017 isn't that far away. Heidi will still be bringing it in 9 years for sure. And a thumbs up gesture is a verbal contract in my book. And this is a thumbs WAY up. You can't teach that type of thumb flexibility. You just got to be born with it.

PS - Heidi looked electric in baby blue yesterday.

First of all let me just say that the guy with the teddy bear strapped to his shirt is the definition of a professional stalker. But that's neither here nor there. What's up with all the chicks in line? Wouldn't you think it would be all dudes? I just don't get why a girl wait in line to see a chick who is so hot that she'll give you an eating disorder just by looking at her? I mean would you ever wait in line to see George Clooney or Nomar? No fucking way. I mean I know I'm not a great looking dude. I don't need those guys to rub my face in it. So the only explanation I can come up with here is that all these chicks are Lesbians.

More Bree here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com