Tom Casale used to cover the Patriots for ProFootballTalk, but left to join a site called Pregame.com. And he didn't just leave the Pats beat; he shot his way out of town with an angry, bitter screed where he ripped everyone who's done him wrong. Among the hand grenades Casale threw out the window as the banjo getaway music blared:

• Tedy Bruschi is an asshole who barely talks to any of his teammates
• Despite Bruschi's public image, the real leaders of the team are Tom Brady, Matt Light, Richard Seymour and especially Rodney Harrison
• Corey Dillon was "the most miserable piece of shit you would ever want to encounter."
• Other people Casale thinks are assholes are Mike Vrabel, Willie McGinest, Dan Koppen and Stephen Gostkowksi. (Note: How does a kicker get away with assholism without being hung up by his wedgie?)
• Surprise! Bill Belichick is a miserable human being.

But by far the biggest bomb tossed by Casale is the rumor that there's a Belichick sex tape out there:

I heard from someone who is close to the case that there is a sex tape of Bill Belichick banging the married woman he had an affair with. I shit you not. The husband who is suing that woman for being unfaithful to him has a tape of his wife and Belichick screwing while the two of them were still married.

This is undoubtedly the worst thing I've had to write in all my years at Barstool. No kidding I agonized on this all morning before I wrote it. While I admit my obession with all things Belichick is borders on sexual attraction, and I'd pay good money to see a MILF tape of his hot cougar girlfriend in the act, I'm not sure I could bear to watch five seconds of this. Imagine the pillow talk?:

Cougar: Ooooh, yeah... Do you like that, Baby?
Belichick: It is what it is.
Cougar: Do you want me to do what I did before?
Belichick: What's in the past is in the past. I'm just looking ahead and preparing for what I've got coming up.
Cougar: Do you think I'm hot?
Belichick: I'm not going to characterize anything. Whatever temperature you are is whatever temperature you are...

Anyway, I hope this tape doesn't exist and that Casale was just blowing smoke. But even if it's true and the tape surfaces, The Hooded One is the one public figure on Earth that wouldn't let it distract him. If anything, it would just motivate him to be an even better coach, if that's possible.