Random Thoughts

I just got the following email sent to me from The Greatest Bar.

We know its Opening Day for the Red Sox, but what are you gonna do after the game? Here's the answer - Come join us at The Greatest Bar as we bid farewell, adieu, bon voyage, and "thanks for the memories" to the modern-day "Mr. Clutch" - Adam Vinatieri! After 10 great years, 3 Super Bowls, and huge kick, after huge kick, after huge game-saving, game-winning kick in a Patriots uniform, it's an end of an era, as Adam departs New England to start a new chapter in his career.

The festivities "Kick Off" at 8pm and will be hosted by ESPN's Chris "Boomer" Berman along with many of Adam's former Patriots team members. So, come party with a living legend, help give this future Hall-of-Famer the proper send off, and also support a good cause, as a portion of the proceeds will go to support The Joey Fund.

Tickets are $20, but space is limited, and must be bought in advance, so act quickly.

It's Gonna Be GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me if I’m not rushing to the phone to order tickets for this thing.   I’m all for supporting the Jimmy Fund, but give me a break.  Can’t you come up with a better concept than an Adam Vinatieri Farewell Party?   Listen, I appreciate everything the guy did here, but he plays for the enemy now.  The second he signed that contract with the Colts he should no longer be able to do events like this in Boston.  You can’t have your cake and eat it too.   Where is Lonnie Paxton when you need him?

All Hail The King. Burger King should have hired the producer of this video to handle their superbowl commerical rather than that stupid spot they ran.

I’m not going to gloat or say I told you so because I’m not that type of guy.   Having said that, I told you we’d put the Boston Sports Review out of the free newspaper business.   That’s right Stoolies, it’s a banner day for El Presidente and Barstool Sports.   The Boston Sports Review as evidenced by this flyer that they put in all their boxes are no longer competing in the glamorous world of free newspapers.   They have switched to a paid subscription model and I wish them nothing but the best.   They competed hard.  It’s just a shame that somebody had to win and somebody had to lose, but that’s just the way in goes in this business.   We caught some breaks and made some plays when we had to and I’m just happy we survived and advanced.   And to be honest I’m really happy for all the little people out there.   This is a victory for them and it is a victory for America.   Now that it’s over, I honestly wish the Sports Review nothing but the best with their paid subscription model.  In fact I may just go out and buy me a few copies of the Sports Review just to show there are no hard feelings.  Now if I could just find a store that sells it?   Hmm, I wonder where that could be?   Viva La Stool!!!

I've said it before, Dwight Gooden represents the greatest waste of athletic talent I've ever seen. He was the rarest of creatures: a guy playing in New York whose accomplishments weren't blown out of proportion (see: Pennington, Chad). His early career numbers are just astonishing. In 1984, Gooden had 276 strikeouts in 218 innings. In 1985, he went 24-4 with an incredible 1.53 ERA. That was the year he turned 20. But a great bar bet is to ask someone how many times he won 20 games in his career; the correct answer is "once."

The following year, he faced Roger Clemens in Game 3 of the World Series in what should have been one of the greatest pitching matchups off all time. But it was obvious to anyone watching that his downward spiral had begun. It was like watching Linday Lohan hosting SNL, a cry for help. I can still remember NBC showed a close up of him and he had bags under his eyes that were too big to carry on an airplane.

Yesterday, Gooden, now 41, plead out to a violation of his probation for using cocaine and might serve as much as five years in jail. It's not my nature to root for any Met and to me, Gooden will always be a Met (when you're a Met...you...stay...a... Meeeeet) but hearing how he 'fessed up and took his sentencing like a man, I hope this guy gets the blow monkey off his back somehow.

Last night's episdode of "Lost" was arguably the best ever. I'll admit, that while I watch it faithfully, at times it can be woefully disappointing. There are nights where you watch an entire episode and realize that less has happened to an island full of people than happens to Jack Bauer in two and a half minutes. And then again, there are espisodes that are so full of depth and meaning that I can't process it, and I'm left to sit there with my primitive reptilian brain and just stare at Evangeline Lilly's bee-hind.

What last night lacked in originality, it more than made up for in driving the story forward for the first time in a month. Hurley's friend from the mental ward is imaginary? (thanks, "Beautiful Mind") Hurley beats the snot out of Sawyer while repeating every insult Sawyer's ever thrown at him? (hellooo, "Christmas Story") Henry makes veiled threats about how they have no idea what they're up against? (every spy movie ever made)

Mostly it made a major character out of the sneakily good-looking Libby. Until now, Libby has mostly been in the background. Last night we were treated to long stretches of dialogue while she sported that really sexy soccer-mom-on-the-stairmaster-at-your-gym sweat circle around her neck, an existential discussion about whether or not she's real, and an ending in which we find out she was in the same asylum as Hurley.

To really appreciate "Lost", you should check out its message board and enjoy the rampant speculation that takes place about every word, tree and Jimi Hendrix poster that appears on the show. My favorite this week is the guy who claims Hurley's friend is real, and called "shenanigans" on Hurley's doctor for lying to him. Comedy gold. In fact, they ask every question except the obvious: What was grosser: watching Hurley shove peanut butter in his mouth with a leaf, or Libby kissing him an hour later?

Just in case you’re wondering about the two broads that Derek Lowe is banging at the same time here is the tale of the tape.  The first chick is chick is his new girlfriend Carolyn Hughes.    The 2nd chick is his crazy ex wife Trinka. I guess sometimes you just can’t blame a guy.

Have people been keeping tabs on the Derek Lowe divorce hearings that are taking place?  Our friends at the Inside Track are treating this case like it’s the OJ Simpson murder trial.    So far what we know is that under oath, DLowe has said he suffers from ADD, pitched on Ritalin when he was in Boston and that one of the reasons the Sox didn’t resign him is because they thought he had a drinking problem.  Something which Lowe still has never admitted to, but it seems pretty clear he has some issues with.    Frankly I could care less about all this garbage.   The thing that has caught my attention in all this is the fact that Trinka Lowe who has done nothing but trash Derek since he left her actually slept with him again after they broke up.   And not only did she sleep with him but Trinka actually faxed Derek’s new girlfriend and former Fox Sports lady Carolyn Hughes to tell her about it.    Yes, I said faxed.  Apparently Trinka hasn’t gotten onboard the email train yet.   Anyway here is what the fax said. “Carolyn, do you think your honey will sleep with his wife and have a great time making love to her for two days like he did on his last visit?” “How does it feel to be cheated on?”

Okay, so here is the million dollar question.  Who has the moral high ground here?   Is it Trinka Lowe or Carolyn Hughes?   Talk about a mind bender.   I think I’d have to side with Carolyn Hughes.   It appears that Trinka Lowe just slept with Derek again so she could rub Carolyn’s face in it after the fact.   Carolyn can always play the card that the Lowe marriage was in shambles before she ever became involved and it was headed towards disaster with or without her which is probably true.  She didn’t steal Derek away or intentionally try to hurt Trinka where Trinka clearly was looking for revenge.  As a side note that must have been some intense sex between Trinka and Derek with all the animosity between the two of them.   The bottom line here is you don’t want to f-ck with Trinka Lowe.   This broad is crazy.  Anybody who is sending faxes to people shouldn’t be taken lightly.  I’d love to see her on the Bachelor.

There was an article on SI.com about this Madison coed who is playing in a tackle football league.  Does this smoking hot Wisconsin chick think that El Presidente is stupid?   There is no freaking way this girl is really playing football.  This is just one big publicity stunt to get her own column in SI.com and compete against FSU Chick.   Let me tell you something honey;  I’ve seen women football players and women rugby players before and it took me 2 hours to decide whether they were really females or not.   Smoking hot chicks don’t play contact sports.  They play soccer, field hockey and the lingerie Bowl.    Ugly lesbian chicks play hockey and football.I can almost guarantee that one of two things will happen to this girl if she suits up.  Either she will be gang raped in the locker room by fat Midwestern lesbians or she will be knocked unconscious during her first game by ugly girls who go out of their way to cheap shot her because she’s gorgeous.    Everybody knows that ugly girls hate pretty girls.  This is a story that can’t end well.

Is Coco Crisp the fastest human being alive?    I swear he could have beaten Ben Johnson in the 100 meter dash when Johnson was still on roids. I’m so happy that Coco is here and Johnny Damon is gone.  I always hated Damon’s ass and between him, his stripper wife and Keith Millar it was almost bittersweet to watch the Sox win the World Series.  I feel much better about rooting for this year’s Sox team with Coco and Beckett.    

The Keith Foulke experiment is over.   After last night the closer role is no longer a subject for debate.  Jonathan Papelbon took a strangle hold on this job as he breezed through the 9^th inning making the Rangers look like a bunch of girls.  As a side note, the Sox were lucky as hell Papelbon even had a chance to pitch the 9^th inning after Mike Timlin bumbled his way through the 8^th.    That decision to send Mark Texeria was arguably the worst 3^rd base coach blunder I’ve seen in my life.   Anyway, Francona would have to be out of his mind to ever use Foulke again in closer role again.  The only potential way that Papelbon closing at the end of the season is if Hanson is ready by the end of the year and we need Papelbon to be our #3 starter.    Because there is no doubt in my mind that Papelbon could be a dominating starting pitcher and I think that’s more valuable than a dominant closer. 

Lots of thoughts on the Red Sox game last night.   First of all, Josh Beckett is a beast.   The second the Red Sox acquired him I said they should be considered the favorite to win the World Series and obviously nothing changed after last night.   It’s shocking to me that some people in the organization didn’t want to pull the trigger on this trade.  It’s an absolute no brainer.  Anybody in the front office who was against this deal should be fired. Guys like Josh Beckett don’t grow on trees.  He is a bonafied Ace.  We’re not talking Chris Carpenter here.  We’re talking a guy you can hand the ball to in a big game and be surprised if the other team scores twice.  The Red Sox now have the best 1-2 punch in baseball in Beckett and Schilling.   There isn’t another team in the league who can match up against the Sox in a playoff series.   There is no doubt in my mind that both these guys are going to be Cy Young candidates this year.