Recap of Pats Preseason Game No. 2 with Gratutious Cheerleader Pictures: Featuring Alyssa

*Granted last night's game was a fiasco, and we could all crash the Panic Party going on over the way the backup QB's have looked. We could envy all those other towns who are carrying experienced, veteran guys on the roster. But I can't get passed the notion that "If our starting QB goes down we won't have much of a drop off" is just a euphemism for "Our starting QB blows."

*Matt Cassel looks like the number two. Well at least he played like number two. Thanks for coming. Tip your waitress.

*It's hard to evaluate Cassel's night. He didn't look good, obviously. The moment he's taken his drop and planted his feet, he either appears to get happy feet and starts bouncing out of the pocket, or he locks his eyes on a receiver like it's the slo-mo teens-falling-in-love-at-the-dance scene from a John Hughes movie. You obviously can't get away with that in the NFL, but if Cassel's going to zero in on somebody, why not just make Randy Moss his Molly Ringwald and throw it to him every time? Throwing to him on every down ought to be enough to move the chains once in a while.

*But somehow Cassel's passing numbers weren't horrible, which led to a moment of unintentional comedy when Sterling Sharpe said "There's been nothing good about Matt Cassel's night. Nothing." then they flashed his numbers, 6 for 8, 57 yards. If Brettfavre had had those stats, NFL Net would've handed him a dozen roses.

*There's been no word as to whether Carmella DeCesare wanted Brettfavre over Jeff Garcia too.

*What was more curious was the way the (essentially) first team defense looked. Granted they were absent both starting safeties and Adalius Thomas and showed their usual preseason vanilla looks, but it appeared like guys were being blown off the line fairly regularly.

*Vince Wilfork was the recipient of a lot of guard/center double teams, capping off a rough couple of weeks for beloved, heavy set black guys (RIP, Bernie and Chef).

*It's hard to argue with the idea of Jerod Mayo starting in Week 1. He's the only defensive player to play the entire half and his skills jump off the screen at you. Scheme-wise, it's still the first week of first grade for him... watch how often Tedy Bruschi is two and three steps toward his read while Mayo hasn't reacted yet... but his speed makes up for the slow decision making. I saw him get blocked out 1-on-1 by guards like David Joseph and Aaron Sears, but he absolutely blew up the lead FB's in the hole several times. Still on one play, Antonio Bryant gave him the Heismann after a catch and stopped him dead in his tracks. I'll be shocked if we see that again.

*The same with Shawn Crable. He sometimes loses leverage and doesn't yet have the lower body strength to fight off the block when he does, but when he gets his freakishly long arms extended and can create space for himself, he's lightning quick around end, as he showed when he beat Anthony Davis for a strip sack. For the near future, I see Crable as a way more athletic Tully Banta-Cain, an edge rushing specialist who plays with his hand up or down.

*What's worse, having no reliable backup QB or being Jon Gruden, having a roster full of them but no starter. Is it me, or does Garcia look miserable for a guy who got to stand around all night doing nothing then go home after and bone a Playboy PMOTY? I'm happier than him just looking at Carmella's picture.

*It's a small sample to go by, but it appears Kevin O'Connell's strength is throwing out of a rolling pocket. Anyway he rolled out on a few plays that appeared to be by design, something they do once an Olympiad with Brady.

*Matt Guttierez probably benefitted from not playing. Like having the teams ahead of you in the polls losing on your bye week.

*Again, it's hard to get all worked up about getting your ass handed to you in a preseason game when Wes Welker and Randy Moss are yukking it up on the sidelines. Here's my standard of meaningfulness (Note: is "meaningfulness" a real word? Spellchecker didn't bat an eye at it.) of a game: If Jarvis Green doesn't play but BenJarvus Green-Ellis does, I'm not sweating it either. Even if it means the Curse of Raymond James Stadium Preseason Games now stands at eight.

*If you're Cassel, you almost have to wonder if your teammates want you to earn the back up job. His last two passes hit Marcus Pollard and Heath Evans on the numbers and they couldn't hold on. In the immortal words of Emmitt Smith, "And then he come back and throw another pass and he drop it." It's almost like they're laying down like a Survivor tribe blowing an immunity challenge to get someone voted off.

*Still, the night was almost enough to make you wonder if Scott Pioli still has Vinny Testaverde on speed dial.