Random Thoughts
1. NESN - I’ve been asked to write a blog for the New England Sports Network. This is my first blog. As some of you know, this summer, I began Tweeting after Jack Welch convinced me that it could be entertaining and fun — for me, not for my readers! But I quickly found out that having a sense of humor on Twitter produces quite an effect. Perhaps people don’t generally expect a baseball owner to have a sense of humor. It’s almost certainly of paramount importance to have a sense of humor, though, over the course of the seasons. Tom Werner and I manage to laugh about certain things on a daily basis. When you lose 60 games a year…you need comedy. And Tom’s had a magnificent career in comedy. I kidded about Yankees Universe and the fact that Red Sox Nation has ceded many of the planets in our own solar system to the Yanks… Oh boy. Some took great offense. “SOX OWNER BASHES YANKS!” So let’s be clear. This blog exists probably more for my entertainment than yours. However, on the heels of such disclosure, I’ll try to write about meaningful subjects and provide meaningful information when I can about what I can. I’m letting you know in advance that I’m purely expressing opinions and I often write humeriously. I don’t have all of the answers concerning the Boston Red Sox, Roush Fenway Racing, Fenway Sports Group, NESN, iRacing.com, JWH or Fenway Park, but I’ll try here at NESN.com to give you a view on these entities from my perspective.I stopped Tweeting a couple of months ago and stopped updating Facebook at same time for reasons I’ll go into in my next entry. Go Sox fans!
Oh my god. Did I just get lectured by John Henry on the importance of having a sense of humor? Listen Creepo if you want to blog, facebook, twitter or do whatever else it is that 75 year old pedophiles do than who am I to stop you? I’m sure Jack Welsh fucking loves it. But don’t sit here and act like you’re Chris Rock or something. Because I hate to break it to you dude, but you are most unfunny person in the history of earth. That’s why everybody cringes when you talk. It has nothing to do with taking you too seriously or not getting your sense of humor. It’s just that dirt is more entertaining than you are. So just stick with being creepy as fuck and leave the jokes to the professionals. I mean if you’re only writing for your own entertainment like you claim to be then keep a private journal. It’s a win, win for everybody.
PS – How long till his wife gets her own blog on NESN? I’m putting the over under at 26 minutes
2. WATERFORD TWP., Mich. (WXYZ) – A woman who gave her son up for adoption 10 years ago is now accused of having sex with the teen after finding him on the Internet. Aimee Louise Sword, 35 of Waterford Township, has been charged with third-degree criminal sexual conduct in the case. Investigators say she used the Internet to find her biological son. Sword was arrested after Child Protective Services informed police of the sex accusations. The woman’s lawyer says she maintains her innocence. She is currently free on bond.
Ah, the age old incest debate question. Does it count as incest if you bang your biological son who you gave away for adoption? It’s a question that the great philosophers from Aristotle to Socrates have wrestled with since the beginning of time. I mean on the one hand you’re not legally his mother anymore, but on the other hand you still gave birth to him. Hmm as often is the case with hot button issues like these I think you need to take all the debate and morality out of it. In other words you need to keep it simple and definable. If the mother gets knocked up by her former son and gives birth to a deformed kid then it’s illegal and she gets arrested. If her son pulled out or wore a rubber then no harm no foul.
3. ISTANBUL (AP) – Turkish military police said Thursday that they had stormed an Istanbul villa to rescue nine captive women whose scantily clad images were posted online after they were recruited for a television reality show. The women said they had believed they were being filmed for a television show like “Big Brother,” which confines a group of people to a house under the constant gaze of cameras, the Dogan news agency and other Turkish media said, without citing sources. Instead, pictures of the women posing in bathing suits and exercising were distributed on a Turkish-language Web site that allowed users to vote for their favorite woman, and see more images, by charging money through their mobile phones. The women soon realized they had been duped, and asked to leave the villa, according to local media. Cakir claimed the raid came after the women became “bored” and one of them called her mother for help. She said the women were not sexually harassed but were told to wear bikinis and dance by the pool.
Now wait just a minute. I know a thing or two about exploiting women and this is nothing. I mean even a novice smut peddler knows that if you really want to hold chicks hostage you don’t let them use the telephone. Cmon it’s kidnapping 101. Plus it doesn’t even sound like there was any nudity or penetration or any of the good stuff. Just bikinis and crap. So I’m not sure what the big deal is? This just sounds like your typical Turkish reality show. Certainly no need to get the military involved.
4. NJ.com – Responding to comments made by Brett Favre on Wednesday that the Jets knew he was playing with torn biceps in his throwing shoulder and advised him to continue to play anyway, Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum confirmed Thursday morning that that was indeed the situation… The injury was discovered with four or five weeks remaining in the season but Favre was never on the Jets’ injury report. Tannenbaum took the blame for that and spoke to league executive vice president of football operations Ray Anderson Thursday morning and the team may be fined… Not putting Favre on the injury report was a clear violation of league policy. “I’ll take responsibility for that,” said Tannenbaum. “As general manager of this team I should’ve handled that differently and listed him on the report. We didn’t because he wasn’t getting treatment everyday and we knew he was going to play.”
This is an outrage! A disgrace! The Jets were openly flouting league rules and something must be done about it! And not just some slap on the wrist like a $250,000 fine to the team and Eric Mangini having to pay a half a mil and they lose their 1st Round draft pick. I’m talking about serious punishment for the harm they’ve done to the integrity of the league! Mike Tannenbaum should be suspended for the year! They should take away the Super Bowl the Jets won because how do we know they didn’t pull the same stunt with Joe Namath’s injury status back in ‘69? I bet John Tomase right now is working on an article about a guy who knows a guy who says he saw BrettFavre’s doctors report. I suspect any minute now Tony Dungy will say “it’s a sad day for the NFL” that the 1 percent like Mike Tannenbaum ruins it for the 99 percent like Belichick who abide by the league injury report rules. And when I think about the competitive advantage this gave the Jets in that game in Foxboro that they won in OT… the one that cost the Pats the AFC East title… I assume everyone will be demanding the Steelers get an asterisk slapped on that Lombardi Trophy they won. But I guess I’ll just have to wait for Arlen Specter to finish the congressional investigation into this terrible stain upon the game.
Oh, wait. Tannenbaum says it was all a big mistake, not cheating. Never mind.
5. Madeira Beach, Florida (10Connects.com) – A Pinellas County man is under arrest after witnesses say he began attacking Labor Day beachgoers with jellyfish. Keith Marriott, 41, was booked into the Pinellas County Jail Monday on a disorderly intoxication charge after witnesses say he began falling face first into the water at Madeira Beach then became violent. Nate McHugh of St. Petersburg was among the many who tried to jump in to help thinking the man might drown. “The way he was trying to get out of the water, he was beyond wasted,” said McHugh. It’s unclear if Marriott went unconscious or was faking his drowning, but minutes later witnesses report he was back in the Gulf, this time flinging jellyfish at those on shore. As many as six people reported painful sings, including McHugh’s girlfriend. “It bubbled up and she had 11 or 12 little bumps and redness,” he recalled, describing the painful sting mark left on his girlfriend’s arm. The two left the beach shortly after. Another victim, a teenage girl around 16 years old, had a more severe reaction according to witnesses and had to receive medical treatment after she was stung all over her face and chest. “She had really bad sting marks. It was really big and red and she had difficulty breathing,” said McHugh.
Listen I don’t condone throwing Jellyfish at people. Especially on Labor Day Weekend. But I am confused how so many people got stung. I mean I can understand the first victim. Like you just don’t expect a guy to hurl a jellyfish at you. But what about everybody else? Once you see what’s happening don’t you get the hell out of there? I’d picture it like that scene in Jaws where they ring that shark bell. “HEY WE GOT A MANIAC THROWING JELLYFISH AT PEOPLE…..RUN” But that obviously didn’t happen did it? Instead six people somehow got nailed. Well hopefully this will serve as a lesson to all the kids out there. Next time you see a drunk guy throwing jellyfish at people run for the hills.
6. Ebay – I bought this Authentic Reebok Mo Lewis Jersey off NFL.com during the 2001 season after he knocked Drew Bledesoe out. It was because of that hit by Lewis that Tom Brady got a chance under center….and the rest is history. With the exception of die hard Patriots fans, Mo Lewis doesn’t get the credit he deserves as being the catalyst to the career of living legend Tom Brady. Without Mo Lewis the Patriots probably would have no superbowl rings. This jersey sat in its box never worn as a piece of memorabilia. Yes I know its a Jets jersey but wear this to Gillette Stadium this year and you’ll be sure to get a brewski or two thrown your way from some true Pats fans.
Ah the age old Mo Lewis debate. Should we celebrate the hit that almost decapitated Drew Bledsoe or does Drew deserve more respect for all the years he put in here? For me the answer is a no brainer. This is one of the best moments in the history of Boston. Now don’t get me wrong I think it was only a matter of time until Belichick started Brady anyway, but that play still symbolizes the exact moment the Pats went from a laughing stock to the model organization in professional sports. Once Bledsoe’s lungs exploded the entire mentality of New England changed and not only in football either. We went from the lovable losers to the insufferable tyrants that we are today. It was the end of the slow sack era. No more back peddling for 15 yards in the face of adversity only to die a slow agonizing death metaphorically speaking. So whether you loved Bledose or hated him, you got to admit that was one of the most important plays in the history of this region. And nothing quite encapsulates it like a Mo Lewis shirt.
7. NY – In the first-ever effort during a New York Yankees game, Ed Randall’s Bat For The Cure charity will help fans fight the battle against prostate cancer by partnering with the New York Yankees in an unprecedented effort to save lives by providing free, simple prostate cancer screenings for any adult man attending the game at Yankee Stadium on Wednesday, September 9, 2009. The free tests will begin at 3 PM when the Yankees open the Stadium gates a full hour earlier than they normally would for an evening game. The screenings will take place at the First Aid Office located on the Main Level behind home plate. The tests will continue throughout the Yankees’ game against the Tampa Bay Rays. In addition, the Yankees have agreed to continue the screenings for as long as any fan at the game wants to take advantage of the free tests.
I’m all for staying healthy, but there are limits. This is an idea too creepy even for John Henry and Larry Lucchino to dream up. I had to get one of these once, and believe me I wouldn’t want another one if the Yankees promised I’d have Minka Kelly, Kate Hudson and Michelle Damon on hand to do the honors. And I sure as hell wouldn’t try to combine it with a fun night out. When I’m shelling out $2500 for a few hours of entertainment, if someone’s getting fisted it’s definitely not going to be me. Still I suppose it’s a noble effort and the Yankees are to be commended. I just hope the medical staff was brought in from Boston. Because we’ve got five years of experience sticking it up Yankee fans’ asses.
8. Iowa - An administrator at the Atlantic High School in western Iowa has been placed on leave, pending an investigation into the alleged strip-search of five female students. Atlantic School District Interim Superintendent Dan Crozier says the Board of Education will discuss the matter at a meeting today. He wouldn’t release the administrator’s name. Family members say Atlantic School officials forced the girls to remove their clothes during an investigation into a theft on August 21st. Lawyers say the girls were forced to strip down to their underwear, and one girl took off all her clothes. The families and their lawyers claim the incident amounts to a strip-search, which is illegal in Iowa schools. Crozier says the search was “allowable” under board rules.
This is so typical of parents today. They want their kids to be safe in school and to be taught right from wrong. Then the first time an interim superintendent asks their daughters to strip so they can be searched, they scream “strip search.” Well how the hell else do they expect the guy to find the missing stuff? Ask them for it? Separate the girls and ask them to rat each other out? Give them all detention until the stuff is returned? Since when has that ever worked? Everyone knows the only way to get to the bottom of a crime like thievery is to get teenage girls to take their clothes off. That’s why they made it “allowable” in the first place. I’m sure Mr. Crozier didn’t want to do it, he felt he owed it to them. It’s part of the job. Is this heaven? No, it’s Iowa public schools.
PS. I’m guessing the one out of the five who stripped all the way down is the keeper.
9. MADERA, Calif. — A 37-year-old Madera County woman is facing criminal charges after she allegedly planted a passionate kiss on a 6-year-old boy and then spat on the deputy sheriff who arrested her. Oakhurst resident Krista Arceneaux remained jailed Sunday on $100,000 bail following the incidents Wednesday outside a Bass Lake bar. Madera sheriff’s spokeswoman Erica Stuart says the boy was crossing a parking lot with his family when Arceneaux allegedly ran up to him, told him he was sexy and kissed him. She then ran into the bar and authorities were summoned, according to Stuart. Inside the patrol car, she tried to kick out the windows and repeatedly spat on the deputy driving, Stuart said. Arceneaux was charged with lewd and lascivious acts with a child under 14, interfering with an officer, possession o marijuana and annoying or molesting a child under 18.
Kid must have the gay right? I mean some cougar bitch runs out of a bar and tells you that you’re sexy and sticks her tongue down your throat and this is how you repay her? By calling the cops? Grow up dude. I mean kids are fucking now by age 3 you little pussy. I bet if it was Liberace who laid one on him he wouldn’t have had a problem with it.
PS – What did the cops expect to happen when they arrested this Cougar? That she’d just go down quietly? Everybody knows this is what tasers were invented for. You try to take a Cougar alive and she’ll spit, kick, bite, scratch the shit out of you. That’s just what they do.
10. Bostonherald.com - Boston Red Sox [team stats]’ principal owner John Henry’s new bride is calling the shots when it comes to the team’s development plans at Fenway Park [map]. Sources tell the Herald that Henry benched Janet Marie Smith, the team’s vice president for planning and development, just weeks after his June wedding to Linda Pizzuti. Smith, 51, is credited with sparing the storied ballpark from the wrecking ball, installing Monster seats and improving the 97-year-old stadium. “Janet Marie was told to go because Linda’s taking over the whole damn place,” said one person familiar with Smith’s exit. Another source said, “Janet was thrown under the bus and everything is a mess as a result of the young bride. The Chinese symbol for conflict is two women under one roof.” Henry and Pizzuti did not respond to requests for interviews.
Hilarious. Listen don’t be shocked if we wake up one day and Lina Pizzuti is like playing 2nd base for the Sox. I mean I’m sure if she promised to touch Henry’s dick he’s make that deal in 2 seconds. Anyway Lucchino must be bullshit huh? I mean Janet Smith was his bitch. Henry falls in love and suddenly she’s out after 8 years and all hell is breaking loose. Can’t you just picture Pizzuti shaking her little ass into The One Eye’d Bandit’s office and telling him how he should run the team.
Lucchino: Who is this person who speaks to me as though I needed her advice?
Henry: I have declared Linda my High Counselor.
Lucchino: Is she qualified?
Linda: I am skilled in the arts of war and military tactics, sire.
Lucchino: Are you? Then tell me, what advice would you offer on the present situation?
Remarkably, Ron Borges is reacting to the Richard Seymour trade by praising Bill Belichick for his boldness, courage, and willingness to make the tough decisions to keep the Pats strong in the long term. Just kidding. For the 10,000th time he’s using it as an opportunity to slam Belichick as a cold, heartless, conniving bastard:
Seymourwas the greatest defensive lineman ever to play in New England… [and] he was equally impressive in the business end of the sport… Seymour never insisted upon being the highest-paid defensive lineman in football nor did he care about that. What he cared about was if it’s a business and you’re one of the best in the business then you be paid like it. Eventually he was paid, but the stone-hearted, businessman’s approach Bill Belichick favors left Seymour cold. He had little feeling for his boss by the time Belichick shipped him yesterday to Oakland for a 2011 first-round draft choice (assuming there is a draft in 2011, which there won’t be if there’s a lockout and no new CBA between management and the players’ union by then), respecting him greatly as a coach, but not much as an employer.
Borges is of course right once again. Belichick is pure evil made flesh. A calculating, manipulative businessman who sends his troops out to risk their necks for him every Sunday, then sits back in his office counting all the gold he swindles from them while he cackles wildly. He’s Scrooge. Machiavelli. Bernie Madoff in a gray hoodie. All that emotion he was choking back at the Tedy Bruschi press conference was just an act. Something to distract us from the fact that he slipped a clause into Tedy’s last contract allowing him to harvest Bruschi’s organs on the day he retires. That’s what this is all about: Belichick’s meanness. He’s mean to nice reporters like Ron Borges and he’s mean to his players and he’s just a mean meany. If he tries to hold the line on a player’s salary, it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s got a salary cap to manage. Or 52 other contracts to fit under it. Or an organizational philosophy that has the team in championship contention year after year. It’s all about satisfying Belichick’s sadistic need to oppress his players. And we’d be a lot better off if he’d run things the way Dan Snyder of the Redskins does: handing out max contracts to a few select players like they were pizza coupons and struggling to make it to 8-8 every year. It’s funny though how Borges came to be in Seymour’s camp the day after the Pats traded him. Because this is what he had to say when Belichick drafted him:
“On a day when they could have had impact players David Terrell or Koren Robinson..they took Georgia defensive tackle Richard Seymour, who had 1 sacks last season in the pass-happy SEC and is too tall to play tackle at 6-6 and too slow to play defensive end. This genius move was followed by trading out of a spot where they could have gotten the last decent receiver in Robert Ferguson and settled for tackle Matt Light, who will not help any time soon.”
Mr. Ctrl+C was wrong on that day, he’s wrong today and he’s been wrong every day in between. At least he’s consistent.
11. LYNN – Officials of East Lynn Pop Warner would not comment Tuesday night on reports that at least three of the six juveniles charged in the severe beating of a man in July have been participating in pre-season football practices until their board of directors has a chance to meet tonight. League president and coach Duke Wilson declined to comment on the reports. However, at least one parent said yesterday that three of the boys – and possibly more – have taken part in practices while wearing ankle monitors. The six boys were remanded to their parents following a hearing last month. The victim, Damian Merida, 30, a Guatemalan immigrant, is still in serious condition as a result of the beating. East Lynn had a tremendously successful season in 2008, as its B and C squad won state championships. The C Squad went on to compete in the national Super Bowl at Disney World.
People always ask me. “Hey Pres where do you think the toughest place to play football in the country is? Like who has biggest home field advantage? Is it Death Valley at LSU? Virginia Tech? The Swamp? Maybe Happy Valley? And my answer is always the same. Manning Bowl. I’m telling you there is nothing else on the planet like walking in there as a 12 year old to play East Lynn. It’s like walking into the Orange Bowl to play Miami in the mid 90’s. Kids shitting themselves the second they get off the bus. It’s not even about whether you’re going to win or lose. It’s about how many kids are going to get taken away in an ambulance. I’m talking everything about that place is fucked up. The field is slanted. It smells like piss. The scales never work right when you’re weighing in. It’s just like the perfect storm of chaos. And now we find out that they have legit felons on their team wearing ankle braces to practice. I can’t say I’m surprised. I’m telling you if the East Lynn C Squad plays BC tomorrow at the Bowl I’m taking East Lynn straight up. No joke.
12. Daily Mail – The golfing community has been split by the birth of a controversial new caddy service which provides attractive, nubile women to carry players’ clubs. Eye Candy Caddies provides attractive young female models to caddy at golf clubs across Britain. The company’s employees wear tight-fitting, pink uniforms as they accompany players around the course, carry their clubs and offer advice on prevailing wind conditions. Now, however, one of the country’s largest golf firms has banned the company from its courses. Leaderboard golf courses has banished the caddies from its four courses in Kent and Surrey, claiming the service is ‘culturally insensitive’. A spokesman for the company said it has been prompted into action after it received complaints from both male and female members. The spokesman said: ‘Anyone who seriously cares about the development of the game should work to ensure that it is as professional, inclusive, and culturally inoffensive as any other major sport. Exploiting outmoded notions of golf as a male bastion is not ‘just a bit of fun’ – it damages the reputation of the sport as a whole as well as its appeal to members of the younger generation of either sex.’
I thought that the only reasons you could prevent someone from being a caddy were fooling around on the course, bad language, smoking grass… poor caddying. But I was wrong. Apparently the long tradition golf has had of discrimination is alive and well. For centuries country clubs could exclude you from the course based on your color, your religion, your gender, your socio-economic background. Now they can keep you from earning a living by carrying someone’s bag for the sin of being a hot chick. Not a chick mind you, just a hot one. If you want to hire some “Biggest Loser” contestant or some broad who looks like Phillip Seymour Hoffman to be your looper, you’re welcome to it. But if she’s exceeds some arbitrary standard in the looks department, they can toss her off the course? How does that work? And who gets to decide what’s too good looking to be allowable? I mean this is England we’re talking about. They’ve got like 20 attractive women in the entire country and every one of them is a topless model and married to a soccer player. So if an average looking American girl went over there would she banned on the suspicion she works for Eye Candy? And by the way, I’m not buying this notion that men were complaining too. Any guy who hates having a trashy hosebag on the course has to be saying it just to placate his wife. And since when did the golfing community ever start listening to guys who take their wives golfing with them? Well I for one deplore this policy. I’ve been a strong advocate of Slut’s Rights my whole life, and their fight for equality doesn’t end at the 1st Tee.
13. Boston.com - Add another name to the growing list of pols and would-be pols eyeing a run for Edward M. Kennedy’s Senate seat: former Red Sox ace Curt Schilling. That’s right, Mr. Bloody Sock himself told NECN’s Brad Puffer in an interview today that he has been “contacted” about a possible Senate run and has not ruled it out. “I’m not going to divulge the discussions, but I’ve been contacted by people whose opinion I give credence to and listen to, and I listened,” Schilling said. Asked whether he would run, Schilling said, “As of today, probably not.”"I don’t know, going forward,” Schilling said. “That’s a pretty big deal, from a commitment standpoint, not just for me but for my family.”"I do have some interest in the possibility,” Schilling wrote. “That being said to get to there, from where I am today, many many thingswould have to align themselves for that to truly happen. I am not going to comment further on the matter since at this point it would be speculation on top of speculation.”
This is Curt Schilling 101 right here boys and girls. He hasn’t been in the news for awhile so what does he do? He claims some mystery man contacted him to run for the Senate and then leaks it to the media and then acts like he doesn’t want to talk about it because it’s just “speculation on top of speculation” even though he’s the one who brought it up in the first place. And the dance continues. Listen like I’ve said a million times before. I appreciate everything Curt Schilling did for the Red Sox. I think he’s one of the best big game pitchers of all time. I think he belongs in the hall of fame, blah, blah, blah. But I’d rather go get beers with Greg Harris and hear about how he can pitch with both hands than listen to Schilling drone on and on about himself. The guy is just the definition of a blowhard and this is the perfect example of it. So I actually kind of hope he runs for this Senate seat because it would be hilarious to watch him get demolished. Because I’m convinced 94% of people feel the same way I do. Unfortunately he’s too smart for that. Instead he’ll just keep talking about running until the election comes and goes and then he’ll move on and find his next subject to get him back in the headlines.
14. Jamaica Star - he police in Manchester recently arrested and laid criminal charges against a man after he allegedly broke into his ex-girlfriend’s home, masturbated and ejaculated on her face while she slept. The man is alleged to have committed the gross act because the 31-year-old woman refused his sexual advances which he directed at her as she went about her business earlier in the day. Detective Corporal Aldaine Jackson of the Manchester police said the woman told the police that she and the accused man were once lovers. However, the relationship is said to have ended a few days prior to the incident and the man was said to have promised to get back at the woman for ending the relationship. “The woman said she and the man were together for years but she decided to end it about two days before the incident … . According to her, he said he was going to ‘Fix har business’,” Detective Corporal Jackson said.
Listen I’m all for chick rights. I really am. I think they should be allowed to vote and all that good stuff. But what about guys? What about our rights? I mean I’ve long maintained that whenever a chick ends a relationship she needs to give the guy like 2 weeks notice. You can’t just show up one day out of the blue and be like “oops no more pussy for you” That’s total bullshit. So it’s almost like she left him no choice. A simple heads up would have solved everything here. That way he could have gotten some good hate fucking in before it’s over and given her the facial while she was awake. It’s a win, win for everybody. Otherwise I hate to say it but this bitch deserved to get “har buisness fixed”
15. STONE MOUNTAIN, Ga. — A Wal-Mart shopper who became so angry about a crying child that he allegedly slapped the girl in the face is due in court Thursday morning, officials announced Wednesday. Investigators said the incident happened Monday at the Stone Mountain store on Rockbridge Road. A police report said the man, Roger Stephens, 61, of Stone Mountain, had warned the child’s mother, Sonya Mathews, that if she didn’t quiet down the child, he would do it for her. According to the report, after the mother failed to quiet the girl, Stephens came up to them and slapped the child several times in the face. The report then quotes Stephens as saying, “See, I told you I would shut her up.” Mathews then screamed at Stephens and called for security, the report said. Stephens was stopped by another shopper, according to the report. The girl, identified in the report as Paige Mathews, 2, was not injured, but did suffer some redness in the face. She was treated at the scene and released, the report said. Stephens was charged with cruelty with children in the first degree, which is a felony.
And the pussification of America continues. Seriously this is a fucking outrage! Because forget getting arrested. This guy should have gotten the medal of honor. Listen don’t get mad at Roger Stephens for getting the job done when you couldn’t. He told you if you couldn’t shut your kid up he would and that’s exactly what he did. I mean it were up to me every public place in America would have guys like this on staff. Your kid starts bawling and you can’t control him? Boom! Bring in the big guns to slap the shit out them. That will teach them a thing or two about respect. This country is going to hell in a handbag and we’re so fucked up we’re locking up the only guys who can help. God help us all.
PS – I can’t wait for part II of this story when we find out that Roger slapped the shit out of this mugshot photographer. I mean look at this fucking snarl! Do it Roger! Do it!
16. Washington state – Four Mountlake Terrace men decided to extend a bout of heavy drinking early Saturday by ordering up erotic dancers they found advertised on the Internet, Mountlake Terrace police Sgt. Doug Hansen said. The men, ages 22 to 46, or “old enough to know better,” as Hansen said, found an advertisement on Craigslist for strippers. They pooled their cash — $440 — and found some women who looked appealing to them, Hansen said. Around 5:45 a.m., three dancers arrived at the home of one of the men in the 23100 block of 51st Avenue W., Hansen said. The dancers didn’t live up to their online descriptions, the men later told police. They were “not as advertised,” Hansen said. The women were overweight and weren’t as alluring as the photos posted online. Police asked the men to rate the women on a scale of 1 to 10: Most of the men rated the women a “2,” although the drunkest among them said “4.” When one of the women excused herself to slip into the bathroom, one of the men saw her instead begin stealing items from an unoccupied bedroom. The women fled and the men gave chase. One of the men jumped on the fleeing car, but fell off and landed in the street, Hansen said. That’s when police were called to investigate
I’m not a big fan of government intervention. Caveat Emptor is how I live. The Nanny State does enough to micromanage what we can buy, how much taxes we need to pay to get it, what kind of warning labels have to be on it before we’re allowed to buy it. I just think with freedom comes the personal responsibility to know what you’re buying and whether you can trust the ones you’re buying it from. That said, the government has got to step in and start regulating the stripper industry. We’ve got the FTC, the FDA, the FHA. We need to establish the FSTA: the Federal Sex Trade Administration, to protect degenerate consumers against just this type of fraud. A sort of Lemon Law for strippers. These guys did their due dilligence. They checked out these girls, judged them to be worth $440, agreed upon the price and entered an oral agreement over the phone. According to the Uniform Commercial Code, such a contract is binding and the guys are entitled to like-kind compensation in the form of attractive, uninhibited skanks with daddy issues to show up and get naked for them. Not a bunch of 2’s/Drunk 4’s to show up, stay dressed and start robbing the place. If we had a government regulatory agency to handle a situation like this, the guys would be entitled to at least treble damages, including getting their money back, a make-up show with some 8’s and 9’s, and maybe some girl-on-girl action. Get on it, Obama.
17. PORTLAND — When Gary Moody pleaded no contest to trespassing in 2005 for hiding in a pit toilet on White Mountain National Forest property in New Hampshire, a judge urged him to seek help for whatever had driven him to climb down there. According to a new complaint, Moody didn’t get the message. The 49-year-old Pittston man is charged again – this time in federal court – with climbing into a pit toilet in the White Mountain National Forest. Moody initially said he had dropped his shirt into the pit and climbed down to retrieve it. It was similar to one Moody had told authorities on June 26, 2005, when he was found in a toilet on U.S. Forest Service property in Albany, N.H. Moody said he climbed into the pit to retrieve his wedding ring, but officials cleaned out the pit, screened the contents and found no ring. “We don’t have a file cabinet drawer full of things like this,” Fors said. “This is kind of a category by itself.”The investigation of the Memorial Day incident began on May 29, when another Forest Service officer met with the manager of the Hastings Campground regarding complaints from campers. Fors found that a 9-year-old boy had walked to one of the pit toilets in the mid-morning on May 25 and,…after waiting for several minutes, opened the door. He saw that the toilet had been pulled out of the pit, then saw a man pop out of the hole, Fors wrote in his affidavit. The boy and two other people saw the man, who was “completely wet,” leave the restroom. The floor was left covered with waste, the witnesses said.
First of all I’m proud to say I’ve never taking a dump in a pit toilet before. Because if I’m understanding this correctly, this is just a huge pit that people shit and piss into and it just stays there forever right? I mean I can barely handle the stench of a porta potty never mind this. That’s why I leave camping to the lunatics, freaks and people from Maine. I’ll stick with hotels , electricity and toilets that flush please. Anyway as far as this guy goes I’m not sure what to say. I mean obviously he must like a chick defecating on him fetish. Hey I ain’t mad at him. Whatever floats your boat. But why not just hire a couple hookers and have them drop a deuce on your face rather than climb into a pit of shit and piss like this? Because here is what they don’t teach you in the Pit Toilet School. Not only are hot granola chicks shitting on you, but you’re getting fat gross ugly people shit on you too. No thanks.
18. A Nigerian woman was arrested last week for allegedly killing a 75-year-old grandfather with too much sex. The 22-year-old woman, identified only as “Blessing,” was in police custody after Baba Sali was found dead outside a hotel in Ikotun where the couple had just had “rounds” of sex, Online Nigeria reports. Sali, a known patron of the Ashee Hotel near Lagos, was last seen drinking a bottle of beer before going into the suspect’s room, a hotel staffer, who wanted to remain anonymous, said. The employee claimed that the elderly man had stayed inside the room for a long time having sex with Blessing before he was later found dead in front of the hotel. The hotel manager called police who arrested the woman. It was unclear what charges were lodged against her.
I know exactly what they should charge Blessing with: littering. For leaving the old boy’s body on the sidewalk. Write her a ticket, fine her 20 bucks and send her on her way. I’m sure she’ll have no problem making the money back from all the awards, honors and testimonials she’ll get from the Nigerian equivalent of the AARP. Because make no mistake about it, Blessing is the biggest hero old people have had since Matlock. I mean, what’s the crime here? Making Baba Sali’s last moments on Earth the happiest he ever had? If ever there was a victimless crime, this is it. As the old saying that goes “The man who spends years sitting around a nursing home pissing in his wheelchair in front of Lawrence Welk reruns dies a thousand deaths. But the man who croaks drinking beer and having rounds of sex with a 22 year old in a hotel dies but once.”
19. CNNSI - ESPN reporter Erin Andrews, who was secretly videotaped in the nude while alone in a hotel room, will discuss the incident on The Oprah Winfrey Show on Sept. 11, SI.com has learned. The segment was taped last week and will be the only in-depth interview Andrews gives on the subject. The five-minute video, which appeared to be shot through a hotel room door peephole, was posted on the Internet last month and quickly taken down.
Brilliant! Just brilliant! Listen I don’t know who is directing this Erin Andrews Lifetime Movie, but I need to get them working for me. I mean this is like a virtuoso performance in how to make the transition from sideline reporter to Hollywood Star. Get videotaped naked, look hot as shit with a bald pussy, claim bloody murder, don’t go after the people who did it, stage a 911 call, disappear from the public spotlight for a month, unveil a sexy photo shoot in GQ, go on Oprah and then burst back onto the scene like you own the fucking place. Seriously I don’t know who the highest paid actress in Hollywood is right now but I’d be pissing myself if I were them. Because Erin Andrews is coming and she’s riding dirty.
PS – Heidi Watney just totally punched her fist through a window when she read this blog.